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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Constant Explain Drain

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Themed Giveaway

    Guest: “I have a question about my bill.”

    Me: “What is your question?”

    Guest: “Why did my rate go up?”

    Me: “Let me see.”

    Guest: “I remember the rate was supposed to stay the same! Now it’s showing me differently. I wanted it changed, and hurry up or I’ll miss my train!”

    (I pull out the guest’s reg card, which clearly has ‘RATE CHANGE’ and the amount printed on it and the guest’s signature on the bottom.)

    Me: “This is your signature? Yes?”

    Guest: “Well… yes…”

    Me: “These initials by the ‘RATE CHANGE’ show that you have acknowledged that there is a rate change in your stay.”

    Guest: “Well… uh… the person who checked me in didn’t EXPLAIN it to me!”

    Me: “But you signed it anyway. You sign things you don’t read?”

    Guest: “THE PERSON WHO CHECKED ME IN WAS RUDE AND DIDN’T EXPLAIN IT TO ME. I MUST HAVE THINGS EXPLAINED TO ME CONSTANTLY!”

    His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Home Improvement, Themed Giveaway

    (My family is out to dinner at a Chinese buffet. My boss texts me from the furniture store where I work. I’m known for getting the problem customers.)

    Boss: “You’re not allowed to sell to psychos anymore!”

    Me: “But they’re my best business! But, seriously. What happened?”

    (My boss proceeds to tell me about a customer that already harassed me three times the day before, as well as the customer service line several times, and tried to prevent our drivers from leaving his home after his delivery. His complaint was that his table was the wrong shade of brown.)

    Boss: “He sent me an email complaining that he’s talking to highly educated people about suing us.”

    Me: “Ha! His lawyer can call my lawyer! I’ll sue for harassment.”

    (I happen to open my fortune cookie at this point and start laughing. I send my boss a picture. The fortune reads ‘A judgment will rule in your favor.’)

    Me: “Fortune cookie says we can take him!”

    An Irregular Appointment

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in a hair salon and take a phone call.)

    Me: “Hello. How may I help?”

    Customer: “I need an appointment with [Stylist] for a haircut.”

    Me: “Okay. When would you like to come in?”

    Customer: “Whenever works for [Stylist].”

    Me: “Okay. How about tomorrow at 3 pm?”

    Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

    Me: “Friday at 10?”

    Customer: “No. Can’t do that.”

    (This goes on for a while.)

    Customer: “I can only do [specific date, a Saturday; our busiest time].”

    Me: “I’m afraid [Stylist] is fully booked that day. How about [Other Stylist]?”

    Customer: “I always see [Stylist].”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “They have nothing?”

    Me: “Sorry. They are fully booked.”

    Customer: “I have been seeing them for years.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Can you not move the other clients around?”

    Me: “Not really. How would you like if we moved you around for someone else?”

    Customer: “You wouldn’t do that. I’m a regular.”

    Me: “According to your record, you’ve been to see us three times. The clients booked in have been coming for the last six years.”

    Customer: *click*

    A Compete Idiot

    , | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    Customer: “Where do you keep [Competitor Store] branded beans, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. We don’t carry our competitors lines. We only stock our own branded goods.”

    Customer: “That’s silly. You could make money selling other stores’ goods.”

    Me: “That’s an interesting concept. I wonder why no one has thought of it before?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s all the same stuff inside anyway. They just use their own brand labels.”

    Me: “In that case, would you like to try our own brand beans?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I prefer [Competitor Brand] beans. They taste much nicer.”

    This Diet Is Really Going Against The Grain

    | MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    Customer: “Excuse me. You used to stock a drink in the cooler. It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We probably don’t have any more. Sometimes they cycle out drinks that don’t sell very well.”

    Customer: “It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I think I know the one you’re thinking of. If it’s not in there, then we’re out. We have some iced tea brewed up if you would like to try that.”

    Customer: “How do I know that it doesn’t have carbs?”

    Me: “I brewed it myself. I can promise you that there are no carbs.”

    Customer: “I want the other tea! You know that soda in there has 33 carbs! You should really stock more options for customers who don’t want to have so many carbs.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to give you some of our iced tea, or some water.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I don’t want any of that. I want the old tea.”

    Me: “Sorry! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’ll have a large cookie.”


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