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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Themed Giveaway

    Playing Games With Your Feelings

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway

    (I have only been working at the store for a few weeks. I also happen to be a slightly anxious person. Phone calls tend to stress me out, as I can’t really interpret tones of voice. A customer calls, and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, are you releasing [popular upcoming game] early?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, we’re having a midnight release of that game, yes.”

    Caller: “No, no. I mean, you know how you guys get new games before the release date? Can you give it to me before the release date if I give you extra money?”

    Me: “Uh, no, sir, I can’t do something like that. That would be illegal.”

    Caller: “I don’t like your tone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “There’s no reason for you to talk to me like a dumb f***.”

    Me: “I’m, I’m really sorry if I’ve offended yo—”

    Caller: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir. Let me get my coworker.”

    (I pass the phone to my coworker, who, though she is the senior employee, is younger than me, and generally very sweet and charming. I have never really seen her angry. She speaks to the customer for a few minutes, and then she puts the phone down.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Coworker: “What a jerk! He demanded to speak to the manager, and when I told him that the manager wasn’t in today, he said to tell you that you were a dumb c*** and a stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh. Am I going to be in trouble?”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Oh, honey, no! You did great! My only regret is that he hung up before I could tell him to f*** off!”

    At Lagerheads, Part 2

    | Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

    Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

    Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

    Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

    Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

    Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

    (I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

    Related:
    At Lagerheads

    A Not-So-Pretty Swell Day

    , | USA | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway

    (During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

    Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

    Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

    Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

    Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

    Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

    (I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

    Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

    Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

    Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

    (I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

    Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”

    Courage Under Fire, Part 2

    | Harrogate, Yorkshire, UK | Bad Behavior, Themed Giveaway, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a supervisor at a car contract hire leasing company. The fire alarm goes off, so I call to my colleagues to apologise, hang up their calls, and leave NOW. One colleague is left as everyone files out. She is trying to talk over the very loud sound of the fire alarm.)

    Colleague: *to customer on phone* “I’m sorry, the fire alarm is ringing and we have to evacuate. If you give me your number, I’ll call you back after.”

    (I can hear the sound of irate shouting from the customer on the phone.)

    Colleague: “Yes, but the fire alarm is ringing and we’re evacuating. If you won’t give me your number, can you call back later?”

    (Sounds of more irate shouting.)

    Colleague: “No, that’s the fire alarm. I can’t turn it down.”

    (Sounds of yet more shouting.)

    Colleague: *to me* “I don’t know what to do.”

    Me: “Leave by the fire exit now.” *I take the phone*

    Me: “Hello, I’m [name] and I’m the supervisor. The fire alarm is ringing. It’s not a drill and I’m going to have to terminate this call.”

    Customer: “Where’s the f***ing b**** I was just talking to? I want her f***ing name. I will not be f***ing treated like this! It’s only a quick f***ing query, why won’t you f***ing answer it, you bunch of f***ing c****?!”

    Me: “This building is on fire as far as we can tell. Call back later.”

    Customer: “All I f***ing want is for someone to work out my early termination fee. That’ll only take five or ten minutes. What’s f***ing wrong with you people?”

    Me: “The fire brigade is here.” *sound of sirens outside* “Frankly, sir, and I mean no disrespect, but people like you are not worth dying for. Call back later.”

    Customer: “How dare you! I’m f***ing paying your f***ing—”

    (I hang up and run down the fire escape. A few hours later, once the fire on the roof was put out the customer called back. He was very apologetic; he’d told his wife about the outrage he’d suffered. She pointed out how much of a dick he had been. He decided she was right.)

    Related:
    Courage Under Fire

    Cut Price Cut-Throats

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    (It is standard grooming salon policy to make sure the customer is completely satisfied with their dog’s haircut before they leave. If not, we will fix what we can. I am returning a dog to its owner.)

    Me: “Here he is, ma’am! Are you happy with the haircut?”

    Customer: *examining dog* “Hmm… well… he looks okay except for the hair above his eyes is still a little too long.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to trim it a bit more? It’ll only take a minute.”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Okay then, if you’re sure, that will be [price].”

    Customer: “But that’s full price! You can’t charge me full price, because the hair above his eyes is too long!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I offered to trim it for you. I can still do that; it’ll just take a minute.”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Well then, it’ll be the same price I just told you.”

    Customer: “But that isn’t fair! The hair above his eyes is still too long! I want a discount!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve offered to fix the hair above his eyes for you, but you’ve refused. I cannot give you a discount for something that I am willing and able to fix right here and now.”

    Customer: “Well, did I say too long? I meant it was too short! It’s too short! You can’t fix that now, can you!? I want a discount!”

    (She proceeded to throw a tantrum for the next ten minutes and only paid up and left when I threatened to call the police on her. Needless to say, she and her dog are no longer welcome back.)


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