Weekly Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 4. This week, we feature part four in our ongoing series of Tech Support-themed roundups. Also checkout Parts 1, 2, and 3!

1. Time To Call A Plumber (4,857 thumbs up)
2. Four Words: Bow, Chicka, Bow and Bow (6,992 thumbs up)
3. Needs To Chill Out (1,822 thumbs up)
4. Save It On A Flesh Drive (1,938 thumbs up)
5. PEBCAK, Episode VI (1,653 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(I am listening in on a call with an agent about programming a remote to the elderly customers TV.)

Agent: “I’ll be happy to help you with that, sir. What brand of TV do you have?”

Customer: “It’s a V1210 TV.”

Agent: “Pardon?”

Customer: “It’s a V1210 TV.”

(The agent looks at me in total confusion.)

Me: “Does he mean Vizio?”

Agent: “Sir, are you it isn’t Vizio?”

Customer: “Oh, yes! Vizio! I probably should’ve put my glasses on before I checked.”

(I am helping a customer who’s having an issue with his iPhone’s touch screen.)

Me: “Okay, sir, what I’m going to try is a soft reboot. That usually fixes these issues.”

(Another customer, who has been standing behind me, suddenly turns around.)

Customer: “What? Ah h*** no! Let me have a look at that, ma’am.”

(He suddenly rips the phone out of my hands.)

Me: “Sir, please hand that back!”

Customer: “All you have to do is just take the battery out, like so…”

(He attempts to pry the casing off the back of the phone. Unfortunately on an iPhone, the battery cannot be removed that way, so he just ends up struggling fruitlessly with it for several seconds.)

Me: “Sir, please can I just try—”

Customer: “Butt out! Let’s see if this works…”

(He jabs frantically at the screen, violently shakes the phone, then finally throws it on the floor, breaking the screen.)

Customer: “Yeah, the d*** thing is FUBAR. You’re out of luck, buddy.”

(He walks out.)

Me: “Did that really just happen?”

(Mercifully, my original customer has insurance, so we are able to get him a replacement phone.)

Related:

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling [tech support]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, the mouse that came with my computer is defective; it is not working right.”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that; how exactly is the mouse defective?”

Customer: “When I move the mouse right, the pointer goes left. When I move the mouse left, the pointer goes right.”

Me: “Okay, when you look down at the mouse, there is one cable sticking out of the mouse, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Is that cable facing toward you or away from you?”

Customer: “The cable in the mouse is facing toward me.”

Me: “Let’s try this; please turn the mouse around so that the cable is facing away from you.”

Customer: “It’s working now!”

(A customer comes in pulling a suitcase on wheels.)

Customer: “My daughter told me that if I bring in my old computer and my printer, I can trade my computer for an iPad, and you’ll set it up with my printer.”

Me: “Well, we don’t do trade-ins here, but I can show you how to get the paperwork started online.”

Customer: “No, no, no, never mind. Just let me buy the iPad, and set up this f****** printer.”

Me: “Alright, so, just to let you know, we don’t sell this printer here. None of us are going to be trained on it, but I’ll be happy to take a look, and see if we can get it up and running for you.”

Customer: “No! F*** that, I have lost my patience! I am a member of Mensa! Get me someone intelligent to talk to!”

Me: “I can get you someone else, but I can tell you, no one else is going to be trained on that printer either. Like I said, I can definitely give it a shot; we may be able to figure it out.”

Customer: “My daughter is an engineer. She told me you would take this piece of s*** laptop, and help me set the printer up.”

Me: “And I’m definitely going to do my best to set up the printer, but we don’t have the proper equipment here to recycle your old machine; I’m sorry.”

(The customer finally agrees. After half an hour, we have the printer up and running with her new iPad. She calms considerably. As she is leaving, she is on the phone to her daughter.)

Customer: “They got my printer working! And I only used the f-word once!”