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    Category: Theme Of The Month

    Not Acting Like Adults

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a popular adult store. It is five minutes before closing. Two girls come in, and they appear to have been drinking.)

    Customer #1: “Are you still open?”

    Me: “Well, we close in about five minutes, but I’d be happy to help you find what you’re looking for.”

    Customer #2: “Oh-em-gee. I want my first vibrator!”

    Me: “Okay. Well, we have a lot of good choices.”

    (I try to show her the products. She proceeds to grab them out of my hands and hit her friend with them. Even though I’m not embarrassed by the products, I find this behavior pretty inappropriate. She is clearly not listening to anything I’m saying.)

    Me: “You know what? It’s getting late, and I really think that you’ll want more time to make your decision. This is the hours we are open, and in fact, I will be here opening in the morning. You will have a lot more time to decide then.”

    Customer #1: “Let’s just go. It’s getting late.”

    Customer #2: “No, I want a vibrator!”

    Customer #1: *pulling her out of the store, to me* “I’m really sorry about this. Have a good night.”

    Coworker: “Man, I know we’re not supposed to kick people out of the store and stay open, but thank you for getting them out of here!”

    Not Very Closed Minded

    | CA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (It is 20 minutes after closing, and I am helping my coworker count the drawers. The phone rings, and typically, by protocol, we do not answer if it is the local area code. However, the area code for this number matches head office’s, so we decide to pick it up if they try calling again. Sure enough, the phone rings a second time with the same number. My coworker picks it up and relays the rest of the conversation to me afterward.)

    Coworker: “[Bookstore], [City].”

    Customer: “Hi, are you open?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we closed a half hour ago.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, when are you open?”

    Coworker: “10 am.”

    Customer: “Okay… Can I ask you a question about a book?”

    Coworker: “…10 am.”

    (He hangs up.)

    Coworker: “Next time, I’ll ask them to hold and then pick up the phone at 10 am tomorrow and say, ‘Okay, I can take your question now.’ That’ll show ‘em.”

    Decisions Derisions

    | Malaysia | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a remainder bookstore. We have a notorious customer who comes in few minutes before closing to browse books. She doesn’t buy them. She reserves her browses for months and pays for them even later.)

    Customer: “Since you released my reservations, I want you to find my books again. I am buying them today.”

    Supervisor: “Sure, why not. After all, we are only closing in two minutes.”

    Customer: “Oh, two minutes? Then make it quick!”

    Supervisor: *relentlessly fulfills her terrible demands, and getting angrier by the moment* “Would you kindly make your purchases now? We are way past closing time.”

    Customer: *suddenly breathes heavily, tearing up and her arms were flailing* “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DECIDE NOW? I AM YOUR CUSTOMER!” *proceeded to run around the store*

    Supervisor: “Miss, please! We will reserve your books and you can come tomorrow.”

    Customer: “I can’t come tomorrow! I am very busy! I have a meeting tomorrow and I have to cook for the kids!”

    Supervisor: “You can come after your working hours.”

    Customer: “No! You can’t make me decide! Don’t do this to me! You can’t make me decide!”

    Toying With The Books

    | Lithuania | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (We close at 3 pm on Saturdays. There’s a small supermarket next door. It’s Saturday, 2:55 pm. A customer walks in.)

    Customer: “Hello, I need some help. A friend invited me over to her house, and she has a small child. She told me not to get him anything, but I really think I should. I think I could get a book or a toy.”

    (I proceed to show him some nice children’s books, but he’s awfully indecisive and takes a long time deliberating over each one of them. He also wants it super cheap, but good. It’s now 3:10.)

    Customer: “I don’t know. This is so hard! Maybe I should get him a toy instead.”

    Me: “Well, a toy is also a good option. I have to warn you, though, that they usually come more expensive than books.”

    Customer: “You know what? I think I’ll go to [Supermarket] and look at some toys. If I don’t find what I like, I’ll come back here.”

    Me: “If you decided to get a toy, that’s fine, but we’re closing. You won’t be able to come back if you change your mind.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll go to the supermarket. I’ll come back later.”

    Me: “Sir, we’re closing. In fact, we’ve been closed for 10 minutes already.”

    (He appeared not to hear a thing I said and walked out of the store. I closed the store. I left some 10 minutes later, and on my way to the bus stop walked past the front doors. There was the same customer, banging on the locked door, with the CLOSED sign on it and the lights out inside, yelling to be let in!)

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (I receive a phone call about half an hour to close.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “What time are you open ’til?”

    Me: “We close in 30 minutes, sir.”

    Caller: “No! I don’t want to know when you close! I want to know how long you’ll be open!”

    Me: “We’re open for another 30 minutes.”

    Caller: “Thanks!” *hangs up*

    (I’ve worked here too long.)


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