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  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
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    Category: Theme Of The Month

    Different Cast, Same Script

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (When vacationing at this company’s theme parks, I am often asked questions as if I work there, even though I don’t dress or look like their typical employees. It may be just because I plan ahead and look like I know where I’m going. I am walking with my two sons, both of whom are under ten years old. Two 20-something guests approach:)

    Guest #1: “Excuse me, which direction does the parade come from?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I’m not a cast member.”

    Guest #1: “Huh? Then what do you do?”

    Me: “What?”

    Guest #2: “What DO you do for [Theme Park Company]?”

    (First and only time I’ve said ‘I’m not a Theme Park cast member,’ yet the guests still thought I MUST still work for the company!)

    No Button To Get Out Of This One

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m in an arts and crafts store where they wear white polos and green aprons, wearing my light blue local theme park uniform. I’m approached by a foreign customer.)

    Customer: *heavy Indian accent* “Can you show me where the buttons?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t work—”

    Customer: “BUTTONS. Can you show me where the buttons?!”

    Me: “I could grab an employee.”

    Customer: *stares at me expectantly*

    Me: “Uhhm. Right this way.”

    (I proceed to show him where I was pretty sure the buttons were. He thanks me and I walk off. Figure it was easier than the truth!)

    Take A Rain Check On That Price Check

    | Manchester, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (On my day off I decide to shop at a store nearby the one I work in. I am having a look when a customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, love, but this shower head—”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t work here”

    (The employees at this store wear red shirts and black pants, whereas I have a brown coat, red trainers, and am texting.)

    Customer: *looks me up and down* “Well, no, but you work at [My Store], don’t you?”

    Me: “Well, yes, but…”

    Customer: “Good. So would it be cheaper for me to buy these here or at your store?”

    Me: “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you without being in the other store.”

    Customer: “I thought you said you worked there? You should be able to tell me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t know the price by memory.”

    Customer: “How much is the one I have now, then?”

    Me: “I don’t work here. I’d imagine it would cost whatever the price ticket said when you picked it up”

    Customer: “Well, you’ve been bloody useless, haven’t you?” *storms off*

    Couldn’t Wait For An Actual Waiter

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (After classes my friends and I decide to stop and get something to eat. We are making our way through the restaurant to a table. I’m bringing up the end of the line.)

    Customer: *as he grabs my arm in a punishing grip* “My friends and I have been waiting for our coffee for over 20 minutes. You had d*** well better get it for us right now or the next time I see you I’ll make d*** sure you regret it!”

    Me: *scared he might hit me* “S-sure.”

    (He finally lets me go and I go looking for a manager.)

    Me: “The guys at that table told me that they’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes for their coffee and they’re REALLY mad.”

    Manager: “Why did they talk to you about it?”

    Me: “I have no idea.”

    I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working in a popular clothing store chain. I notice a woman browsing so I approach her.)

    Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find anything?”

    Her: “Oh, that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I can flag down a staff member soon.”

    Me: “I am a staff member.”

    (She looks at me, somewhat shocked.)

    Her: “You?! You don’t look like you work here at all!”

    (I laughed and showed her my store ID. She blushed and apologised profusely. This actually happened on numerous occasions over the time I worked there. Every staff member looked quite similar: bleached blonde hair, long fake nails, tight, revealing clothing, and sandals or heels. Then there was me: naturally dark blonde, wearing the most subtle and body covering clothing the store carried, and sneakers. It was no wonder!)

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