Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,924 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    My Head Megahertz, Part 2

    | Kansas, USA | Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I would like to buy one of your trigabit hard drives.”

    Me: “Did you mean terabyte? We have a few right over here.”

    Customer: “No! I want a trigabit hard drive. Don’t tell me you don’t have one!”

    Me: “How much are you trying to store on this drive?”

    Customer: “Some family photos.”

    Me: “Around how many?”

    Customer: “Probably around 100. My son is very smart with computers and he said I would need at least a trigabyte!”

    Me: “Well, this 500 gigabyte hard drive will have more than enough space.”

    Customer: “You are frauds! I am never shopping here again!” *storms out*

    Related:
    My Head Megahertz

    Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

    , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

    Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

    1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
      TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
    2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
      A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
    3. Get A Life:
      A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
    4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
      Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
    5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
      A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Ph.Duh, Part 3

    | New York, NY, USA | Technology, Top

    (An older professor calls for help with his campus webmail. He is trying to open an email by checking the box. I show him how to click the subject instead. Lo and behold, the email opens.)

    Professor: “Well, that worked. But that’s extremely poor design, you know. How was I supposed to know to click the words?”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad we could help you figure it out.”

    Professor: “This is ridiculous. Not a single other email works like that! This is the only one I’ve ever seen where you have to click the words, not the checkbox.”

    Me: “Actually sir, that’s standard design for webmail. But now that you’re able to open your email—”

    Professor: “I use [email provider] at home and it doesn’t work like this! How come yours is different from [email provider]?”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with [email provider]‘s webmail, so I’m afraid I can’t answer your question.”

    Professor: “You’re trying to tell me that EVERY other email is just like yours, and I’m telling you it’s NOT TRUE.”

    Me: “I’m sorry that I can’t explain the differences between our webmail and [email provider]‘s. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Professor: “Yes, you can GO DIE!”

    (He hangs up on me, and my boss, who overheard the conversation, is livid. She contacts the professor’s department chair to report him for harassing me, and the chair sent back his deepest apologies and assured us he would reprimand the professor. Justice!)

    Related:
    Ph.Duh, Part 2
    Ph.Duh

    How About We Ring Your Neck

    | Miami, FL, USA | Technology

    (A customer walks in with his girlfriend. He’s having an issue with his cellphone.)

    Customer: “I can’t hear my phone ring! This is an outrage! I paid so much money for this thing! I should just return this piece of s*** right now!”

    (Without saying a word, I take the phone and move the “silence” switch to “off”.)

    Me: “Now try it.”

    (The girlfriend calls customer’s phone, and sure enough, it rings loud and clear. The customer sheepishly walks out and his girlfriend follows.)

    Customer’s Girlfriend: *to her boyfriend* “I told you, you f***ing idiot! We could’ve saved the trip over here!”

    Sudo-Religious

    | New Zealand | Religion, Technology

    (An older customer with a very old laptop approaches me.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I upgraded to the new Windows 7 thing and it’s going really really slow. Do I have a virus?”

    Me: “I’ll take a look, but have you considered running Linux or moving back to Windows XP if you still have it? Your computer’s probably slow because it’s not new enough to handle the more intensive new operating systems.”

    Customer: “But Linux is made by atheists!”

    Page 97/140First...9596979899...Last