Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,610 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    100% Chance Of Disaster

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Technology, Top

    (I answer calls for technical support within the company.)

    Caller: “My computer is a fire risk.”

    Me: “What makes you say that?”

    Caller: “It gets hot. There are papers near it.”

    Me: “If you’re worried about it, you can move the papers away.”

    Caller: “I am moving the papers, but you must send someone to look at it.”

    Me: “Computers usually get warm–”

    Caller: “You don’t understand. My computer is a fire risk!”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll log a job and get someone to look at it.”

    Caller: “When? It is very urgent. I need someone to come now.”

    (I log the job and ring the technician to explain that the customer is very keen to have someone come as soon as possible. The next day, he rings me back to tell me what happened.)

    Technician: “You know that computer that was a fire risk?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Technician: “She meant it was on fire.”

    The Window To The World Wide Nothing

    | Sweden | Technology

    (One of our users calls me. She is having problems logging on to her web mail.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I can’t get into my e-mail!”

    Me: “What browser are you using?”

    Customer: “The Internet.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, when you look at the Internet you are watching it through a window. What is written on the top border of that window?”

    Customer: “No! I am not looking at a window! I am looking at the internet!”

    First Name First, Last Name Last

    | Little Rock, AR, USA | Technology

    Teacher: “I can’t log in. I am using the username our IT guys set up for us.”

    Me: “What username are you using?”

    Teacher: “First_Lastname.”

    Me: “So what is your first and last name?”

    Teacher: “Oh…am I supposed to enter my real first and last name separated by an underscore?”

    Me: “As opposed to what?”

    Teacher: “As opposed to typing ‘First_Lastname’?”

    The Uncertainty Principle Of E-Mail

    | Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Technology

    (I’m a part-time cellphone salesman and a full time web development student.)

    Customer: “So, if I buy this smartphone, I will need to cancel my home internet, right?”

    Me: “Why do you think that, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What, are you an idiot? You can’t have email in more than one place.”

    Me: “Um, yes, you sure can, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What do you know? You’re just a kid in a cellphone store. My husband knows everything there is to do with computers. He works at [clothing store].”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, not only do I work here, but I am also in IT and guarantee you that you can have your e-mail on your cell and computer.”

    Customer: “You’re an idiot. You don’t know anything!” *storms out without her new phone*

    We Call Them Magic Voice Boxes

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Technology

    (A customer comes in to return a phone she bought in June. Our store has a strict 30 day return policy on electronics and it is now September. I explain this to the customer and she leaves, only to return a few minutes later.)

    Customer: “You said it was 30 days for electronics, but this is a phone.”

    Me: “A phone is an electronic device.”

    Customer: “Really? I didn’t know that.”

    Me: “The policy is actually for all items from the electronics department. Even a TV stand would have a 30 day return period.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *walks away shaking head* “I didn’t know phones were electronic.”


    Page 94/122First...9293949596...Last