Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,233 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Power To The People

    | Westchester, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a company that provides both phone support and on-site support for residential customers.)

    Caller: “Hello, I seem to be having an issue with my internet. It’s not working.”

    Me: “Well I’m sure we can fix that. First thing’s first–can we reboot the computer?”

    Caller: “I don’t know how to do that.”

    Me: “Well, by reboot, I mean restart. I believe you have a [brand] computer. That should be running [operating system], correct?”

    Caller: “It’s a something [brand]?”

    Me: “Just click on the start button in the lower left hand corner of the screen. Then select ‘Turn off computer’.”

    Caller: “I can’t find the start button.”

    Me: “Well it might just be hidden. How about we just turn the power off on the laptop.”

    Caller: “I don’t know how to do that.”

    Me: “Just press the power button on the computer. Hold it down, and the computer will turn off.”

    Caller: “I don’t know what the power button is.”

    Me: “How do you normally turn the computer on or off?”

    Caller: “I never have.”

    Me: (I check the records to reveal she’s had the computer for 6 months.) “Well, can you possibly find the power button on the computer? It could be on the side. It should be glowing green. It has the power symbol on it.”

    Caller: “What’s that?”

    Me: “It looks like this problem will require a tech to be sent out.”

    Winding Down On Dialing Up

    | Hawaii, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for contacting technical support. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *whispering* “Can you shut my internet off for four hours?”

    Me: “I could disable the port, but may I ask why?”

    Customer: *whispering* “My son has been locked in his room since last night and he won’t come out or talk to me. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s 3 pm.”

    Me: “I suppose I could, however, you will need to call us to re-enable your connection.”

    Customer: “Thank you! I don’t know what he’s doing in there on the computer. It’s been like this since we got your internet.”

    Me: “Your connection has been disabled. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. I hope he comes out soon!”

    Doesn’t Get The Fine Print

    | Texas, USA | Technology

    Customer: *hands me a printer* "Is this all I need to print? My last printer broke."

    Me: "No, ma’am. You still have to purchase ink and a printer cable for it."

    Customer: *grabs random ink off shelf* "Okay, here we go."

    Me: "You have to get the specific brand and number listed on the box."

    Customer: "Oh, well, normally you can just mix and match. I’m new to this web 2.0 nonsense but I think I know a little about setting up a printin’ machine!"

    Spelling Gone Rogue

    | North Carolina, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Caller: “I have a question about my account.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help! What email address do you use to log in?”

    Caller: “It’s rogue@[email host].com.”

    Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t seem to find that email in the system. To confirm, let me spell out the full address: r-o-g-u-e@[email host].com?”

    Caller: “No, it’s *****r-o-u-g-e!”

    Me: “Oh, “rouge” like the makeup. The word “rogue” is spelled r-o-g-u-e.”

    Caller: “That’s not how “rogue” is spelled! I can’t believe how stupid your customer service is!”

    Me: “If you want to be sure, you can check a dictionary for the correct spelling.”

    Caller: “Fine, I will! I’m going to search dictionary.com right now!”

    (A minute passes as he searches.)

    Caller: “F***! I’ve been using this email for years! I can’t believe my guild members never pointed this out to me!” *hangs up*

    The Router To Success, Part 2

    | Chicago, Il, USA | Technology

    Me: “Good morning, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I cant seem to connect to the server.”

    Me: “No problem, I have to ask if you’re able to see if all the cables are connected properly and the computer is functioning properly.”

    Customer: “Are you trying to imply that I am stupid? That I can’t tell if something isn’t plugged in? I don’t want to talk to you! I want to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sir I am in fact the manager, and I meant no disrespect. This is step one in our problem solving protocol.”

    Customer: “So will you come here and fix my problem?”

    Me: “I have noticed that you have not signed or returned your service agreement and I will be forced to charge you $100 for an onsite repair.”

    Customer: “That’s fine, it must be broken. Get here as soon as you can.”

    (Two hours of driving in traffic later…)

    Me: “Sir, I have found your problem.”

    Customer: “Oh, and what do you have to repair?”

    Me: “Nothing, your router was unplugged.”

    Related:
    The Router To Success


    Page 91/109First...8990919293...Last