Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Having A Loan Moan

| Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(Often we have people wanting to pick up items that have been pawned in their spouses/parents/sibling’s name. This is possible; however the original ticket is required in order to avoid theft. Occasionally, if they don’t make it in by their due date the item is pulled for sale. If this happens and they come in and want it back, they are able to buy it back and we only charge them the loan amount plus interest.)

Customer: “I want to pick up my tablet but I don’t have the ticket.”

Me: “Okay, let me get your ID and I can look that up for you.”

(After several minutes of searching using her name and her ID number separately, I am unable to find said tablet.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it doesn’t seem to be here. Could it be under anyone else’s name? Maybe a friend or relative?”

Customer: “No. It’s definitely in my name. Just go in the back and look for it.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. We do have a lot of tablets and I wouldn’t usually do this, but since it’s a slow day I can spare a few minutes to have a look.”

(After ten minutes of searching, I still can’t find the tablet.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t find it. Are you sure it was at our store?”

Customer: “It was definitely here and it was definitely in my name. Did you sell it? It wasn’t due!”

Coworker: “Could it be in your husband’s name?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I look under her husband’s name and sure enough, there it is. Since she doesn’t have the original ticket, she is not able to pick it up.)

Me: “Well, it looks like we found it. Unfortunately, since it isn’t in your name and you don’t have the ticket, your husband will have to come in to pick it up.”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HE IS MY HUSBAND! Well, I have some other things to pick up under my name. Another tablet and an Xbox One.”

(I look up her name again to find that the tablet was pulled a full two months ago. She loaned $200. That plus the interest for the full two month loan and the two months since it was pulled would have come to $360, but since it’s been a rough day already I decide to just charge her for three months, which comes to $320.)

Me: “Here’s the Xbox, ma’am. It looks like your tablet was pulled some time ago, as your last day of grace was two months ago. You can buy it back at $320, which is your loan amount plus three months of interest.”

Customer: “No. [Manager] said she would keep it for me and it would be $240 to buy it back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that would be the cost if you picked it up one month into your two month loan period. There’s no way I can give it to you for that, considering it’s been four months.”

(The customer then leaves with her Xbox One. Later, she returns with her husband, carrying the Xbox One box. They pick up the tablet that was in his name and do not mention the one that was pulled. They then call my manager over.)

Customer: “I picked up this Xbox but you stole my controllers. I need you to give me new controllers.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but it says in our system that we didn’t take in any controllers. I can call the employee who took it in to be sure though.”

(She calls the employee, who confirms that the customers took the controllers home with them.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but she did confirm that we never took in any controllers.”

Customer: “You stole my controllers! Call the police! I want my controllers!”

Manager: “If you like, we can get the footage from the cameras up. But even if we do see that you did not take the controllers with you, we won’t be able to replace them tonight. We are already closed and since we don’t have any Xbox One controllers in stock we’ll have to send someone to buy some tomorrow.”

(The customer begins shouting and screaming about wanting to play Xbox tonight. Eventually, her husband manages to convince her to leave. We did manage to find the footage, and she did take the controllers home with her. The next day, she came back in.)

Customer: “Do you have my controllers yet?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We were able to find the footage and you did take them with you. We won’t be able to replace your controllers as you never left them with us.”

Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE Y’ALL ARE TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME. YOU BETTER GET SOMEONE WITH EYES TO LOOK AT THAT VIDEO BECAUSE Y’ALL STOLE MY CONTROLLERS!”

(As she’s shouting, I hear my manager on the phone.)

Manager: “Okay, they’re sending someone to take a look.”

Customer: “Who?”

Manager: “The police.”

Customer: “OH, THAT’S HOW IT IS? YOU’RE GONNA CALL THE POLICE ON ME?”

(The customer RAN out the door, never to be seen again.)

Almost Got Physical

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am calling with a complaint that one of my games won’t launch.)

Me: “Hi there, I’d like to register a complaint.”

Call Center: “Of course, sir. Sorry to hear that; how may I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, it seems your service has a bug up its a** and is trying to make me buy a game TWICE!”

Call Center: “Okay, sir, I understand. Can I get your account name and number?”

(We go through the check in questions and she starts looking through my account and transactions in the marketplace.)

Call Center:“Sir, I am seeing achievements on your gamer-tag but in accounts I see no online purchase for this game. Are you certain you bought the game online?”

Me: “OF COURSE I AM! I buy all of my games digital now. What’s the point in this extra hard drive if I have to…”

(At this point I open my drawer and see the game in question’s physical copy lying right there. The realization that I just sat through nearly an hour of robots and wait times to complain that my console wouldn’t play a game without the disc in it slowly sets in.)

Me:“…Um, It would seem as though I actually did buy the disc for this one… I’m going to go ahead and find a very tall building to jump off of.”

Call Center: *chuckling* “Please don’t do that, sir, but do have a good day!”

Stick It To The Calculation

, | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls into the store about a printing calculator he recently purchased. The calculator is AC adapter powered.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just bought a calculator and the numbers won’t clear off the screen.”

Me: “Okay, why don’t you reset it using the reset button on the bottom of the calculator.”

Customer: “Okay, I reset it but the numbers are still on the display. Should I unplug the power?”

Me: “Go ahead and unplug the power and try resetting it again.”

Customer: “The numbers are still on the screen, that’s not working.”

Me: “Sir, what numbers are listed on the screen?”

Customer: “One through nine.”

Me: “…Sir, is it a sticker?”

Customer: “…Oh.”

‘X’ Marks The Spot-Box

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I’m working in a mall at a well-known video game store and I’ve been there for a few years. We have a policy that if someone buys a warranty for their system we will replace it, no questions asked.)

Customer: “You know the system warranty?”

Me: “Yep, covers everything, no questions asked.”

Customer: “No questions asked… Are you sure?”

Me: “Sure, that’s the policy.”

(Customer reaches into his bag and pulls out an Xbox with an axe embedded in it.)

Customer: “I’d like a replacement.”

Me: “How did that happen?”

Customer: “You said no questions.”

Me: “Uuuh… would you like to take back the axe?”

Customer: “No questions!”

(He proceeds to attempt to yank out the axe, but fails to do so.)

Customer: “New one?”

(I look at him incredulously.)

Me: “Yep”

(I replaced his Xbox. Later, I brought it up with a coworker from another store. He beat my story with a Dreamcast that he replaced that had bullet holes.)

Should Have Been Trained In This

| Wales, UK | School, Technology, Transportation

(There is a Victorian Tram in the county’s most popular resort town. It is owned by the county council, and since most group bookings are long-distance and well ahead of time, the ‘dedicated’ Tramway booking line actually just gets diverted to our office, with a different ringtone/screen display than other calls.)

Me: “Bore da. Good morning. [Tramway].”

Customer: “Hiya, yep; I wanna book my school onto the Tram.”

Me: “No problem. What dates did you have in mind?”

(The customer and I continue to exchange questions over the phone without a hitch until I get to the last question…)

Me: “And does your group have any other special requirements?”

Customer: “Yes, can you let me know if the wi-fi is charged separately?”

Me: “What wi-fi, Mrs [Customer]?”

Customer: “The built-in wi-fi on the Tram.”

Me: “Mrs [Customer], I’m afraid there isn’t wi-fi on the Victorian Tram.”

Customer: “Well, okay. Do you know if the in-built DVD drive can play a normal CD?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is not a built-in DVD drive, either. The Tram is very old.”

Customer: “I KNOW it’s old. I wanted to play the children a clip from [TV show] which did a feature on the Tram; it says it has barely been altered mechanically since it opened. I thought the children could watch it whilst they were actually ON the tram.”

Me: “‘Barely altered’ includes not decking out the Tram with wi-fi, TVs or DVD players, Mrs [Customer]. Most people like to enjoy the views during the tram ride and we have [summit centre] with the facilities to play them if you want to show your presentation there before descending again?”

Customer: “No, I wanted them to see it on the Tram itself. I can’t believe it hasn’t had an upgrade.”

Me: “Lack of upgrade is sort of the point. I’m sorry I can’t help you. Would you still like me to confirm the booking?”

Customer: “Not yet, I’ll check with [Headteacher] first. He needs to know about this.”

(The headteacher phones back several days later to confirm, apologising for the teacher – whom he described as ‘a bit dipsy.’)

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