Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Just Telling It Like It Is
    (3,042 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Don’t Get Short With This Customer

    | New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Technology, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier at a small phone shop in a large mall. At one point, a very tall, very very large man with a scowl on his face steps into line. I can tell that the longer he waits, the shorter his temper gets, so by the time he gets up to the counter about ten minutes later, he’s practically livid.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Y’all sold me a broken device. How could you sell me broken s***?! Don’t you have any kind of quality control?”

    Me: “Um, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It don’t work! The f*** you think is the problem?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir, but—”

    Customer: “I’ve already been waiting here for thirty minutes! Fix it already!”

    (Upon cursory examination of his device, it becomes apparent to me that it has suffered extensive water damage.)

    Me: “Has this device been in contact with water recently?”

    Customer: “No, of course not. I’m not stupid.”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m afraid that given the nature of the damage to this device, we cannot repair it and it is no longer under warranty.”

    Customer: “Now hold up just a minute, you little b****. I will not have you blaming me for your problems. How dare you?!”

    (Suddenly, he SLAPS me across the face. Caught completely off guard, I take a step back and shut my eyes. But when I look back up, the man is nowhere to be seen. I notice that everyone is looking down at the floor, so I peer over the counter to see him attempting to crawl away, unable to stand up, and clutching a bleeding ear. The next customer in line is an unassuming, bespectacled man that stands no taller than 5’5″.)

    Next Customer: “Hey, are you okay?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah, I’m fine… what just happened?”

    Next Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t just gonna let him do that to you, so I slapped him back.” *his face breaks into a grin*

    Me: “Wait, you… what did you do?”

    (As it turned out, the guy with glasses was trained extensively in multiple forms or martial arts, and had leapt up and performed a cup-handed ear slap on the customer that had assaulted me. My manager has seen what has just happened and walks over.)

    Manager: *to the next customer* “Wow. That was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for that. You’re welcome to shop here anytime.”

    (Incidentally, I have been dating this short bada** for almost a year now!)

    Let Me Google That For You

    | Missouri, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store]! How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering when the new season of this TV show is supposed to come out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our system doesn’t allow us to research release dates. I could only tell you if it was being released this month.”

    Customer: “Well, could I find out on your website?”

    Me: “Well, your best bet would just be to Google it.”

    Customer: “Umm… so what should I Google?”

    Me: “The name of the TV show, the season, and the words ‘release date.’”

    Customer: “Oh my God, thank you! I never would have thought of doing that! I’ll go look it up now. Bye!”

    This Caller’s Not Too Bright

    | Charlottetown, PEI, Canada | Crazy Requests, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] Tech Support. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “The technician needs to come.”

    Me: “Sorry about the issue you are having, what seems to be happening?”

    Caller: ”It’s too bright!”

    Me: “What seems to be too bright?”

    Caller: ”The light!”

    Me: “What light are you talking about?”

    Caller: ”The light on the box!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what box are you referring to?”

    Caller: ”Internet light!”

    Me: “Is this the light to your modem or your computer?”

    Caller: ”The light is too bright and I can’t sleep at night. I need the tech to come out and not make it bright!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried turning the modem around to face a wall or put something over the lights?”

    Caller: ”No, do you think that would work?”

    Me: “Possibly.”

    Caller: ”Well, I still want my other box back! It wasn’t bright!”

    Me: “…”

    Just Point And Spook

    | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: *hands me a photo* “Hello there. Can you help me scan and make duplicates of a photo?”

    Me: “Sure thing! We just use this scanner here—”

    (At that moment, I look at photo and notice a white camera strap taking up half the photo. I can see the camera’s brand name on the strap, blurred but readable.)

    Me: “Uh, excuse me? Are you sure you want to scan this photo? It seems the camera strap got caught in the lens.”

    Customer: “Really? I didn’t notice that. Where is it?”

    Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points at the camera strap*

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! That’s the spirit of my grandfather! How can you even claim it is a camera strap!?! You are just a terrible employee!” *storms off*

    At Least She Brought Windows Cleaner

    | Oslo, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body, Technology

    (A customer has just bought a cellphone. She wants me to show her how to insert the SIM card. I open the cover on the phone and reach for the SIM card when she shouts, startling me.)

    Customer: “No! Don’t touch it!”

    Me: “But I have to put the SIM card in—”

    Customer: “No! You can’t touch it!”

    Me: “I have to touch it to insert the SIM Card into the cellphone.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want you to touch it! It will get viruses on it! I’ve heard it can happen! Just show me how to do it, and I’ll do it myself!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the viruses you’ve heard about are digital programs, and can not be transmitted from a person touching the SIM card. But if you absolutely don’t want me touching it, you may insert the SIM card yourself.”

    Customer: “I don’t want viruses in my cellphone! I’ll do it myself, thank you.”

    (At this point the customer takes out a bottle of window cleaner spray and towel, sprays it on her hands, and dries them off. Then, she very carefully grabs the SIM card on the edges and slides it inside the cellphone.)

    Customer: “See?! No viruses!”

    Me: “Well done, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

    Page 88/134First...8687888990...Last