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  • Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    The Digit(al) Age

    | NJ, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

    Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

    Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

    Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”

    Reminder: Tech Troubles Themed Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Technology, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s April Themed Story Giveaway:
    Tech Troubles!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers and technology.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, May 1!

    Needs To Back Up And See The Bigger Picture

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Client: “Can you make these messages go away?”

    Me: “Which messages are those, sir?”

    Client: “The ones I get when I run backups.”

    Me: “Ah. What do they say?”

    (He reads out the error messages.)

    Me: “Uh, sir, how long have you been getting these errors for?”

    Client: “Since your software was installed last year. Why?”

    Me: “And did you report this earlier, sir?”

    Client: “No, but they’re really starting to bug me. How do I make them go away?”

    Me: “Sir, you do realise that ‘Backup Failed [error code], contact [supplier]‘ means you have no backups of your entire financial system?”

    Client: “What the h*** does that matter? I’m sick of having to hit ENTER all the time! Just tell me how to get rid of these stupid messages!”

    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, History, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)

    Customer: “What do I do first?”

    Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”

    (The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)

    Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”

    Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”

    Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”

    Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”

    Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”

    Related:
    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6

    | CT, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My parents have both just upgraded to smart phones for the first time in their lives. They seem to be doing well, despite their usual inability to use technology. Two days after getting the phone, my parents call me.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Dad: “Hello, Jess! It’s Dad. There’s something wrong with my phone; I can’t hear incoming sound.”

    Me: “Do you see the little switch on the side? Make sure it is not showing orange and then press the up button for the volume.”

    Dad: “What? I can’t hear you!”

    (I repeat my instructions. We try several things before my parents give up.)

    Mom: “Hey, it’s not working. Should we go back to Best Buy?”

    Me: “I’ll be out in a few days, if you can wait I’ll take a look at it.”

    (I frantically look online for errors in software and hard wear being reported online, but little shows up. I’m seriously intrigued. My parents decide they’ll take it to the store and have it looked at. The next day my dad comes out to visit me.)

    Dad: “So I went to the store yesterday. I guess the plastic screen protector was blocking the speaker.”

    Me: “…you used it like that?”

    Dad: “I thought it would be extra protection!”

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

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