November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Not Game For The Games

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(A lovely, little old lady is wandering around the game store where I work. She picks up a copy of ‘Empires’ and turns to me.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “It is a turn based strategy game. You control an army, the opponent controls an army, and you take turns to—”

Customer: “Yes, but what is it?”

Me: “Well, it’s kind of like the game ‘Risk.’ There are some games that happen in ‘real time,’ where you and the opponent move at the same time, but this one—”

Customer: “Yes, but is it a book, a CD, a board game?”

Me: “It’s a computer game, madam. This is a computer game shop.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(She wanders off, picks up another game, and asks another sales associate.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

(I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

(My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

They Should Screen Customers Like This

| St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(We have a touch screen tablet/kiosk in store that allows you to create a playlist for making custom CDs. One day, a man is shouting and punching the screen trying to get it to work. I come over to help him.)

Customer: “This f****** thing is broken. It won’t accept any of the letters when I press them!”

Me: “Please be gentle with the device. I’ll show you how easy it is to use.”

(I show him, and after a few minutes he tries again, pressing the space between the letters instead of any actual letters.)

Customer: “Your cheap-a** tablet is the reason I can’t figure it out!”

(I just stand there letting him vent, all while finishing his list of songs. When it is done he wants to enter his name, and goes back to jamming the screen with his finger and cursing loudly.)

Me: “I will finish it for you. The total will be [total].

Customer: “That’s way too expensive! Never mind.”

(The customer then just simply walks away. I turn around to see my coworkers laughing at me. Great days in retail!)

The Game Of Life

| TN, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “Sir, do you know anything about video games?”

Me: “Yeah, I do, but it depends on which games. I haven’t played them all yet.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing video games! You are a young man. Go make a d*** family!”

(I look down at the floor at this point as the customer is scolding me.)

Customer: “Were you just looking at my daughters a**!?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I wouldn’t!”

Customer: “Is she not GOOD enough for you?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m gay…”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be that either!”

Technology That Makes You Cry

Tacoma Area, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working at the self-checkout area assisting customers when issues arise, such as weight discrepancies, inputting coupons, and just giving general help with the system. One customer has a lot of produce which requires a produce code to be input in order to weigh the items on the scale. One customer is growing increasingly frustrated with the produce look-up feature.)

Customer: *frustrated* “I can’t find where the celery is.”

Me: “You know…” *shows him feature* “you can actually look things up by name, spelling it out, instead of searching by category. It goes much faster that way. As you type in the letters for the name it’ll narrow the choices.”

Customer: “Oh, ok. That is much faster.”

(The customer continues for a few minutes with inputting his produce. It takes him a bit but he’s slowly catching on and learning the system. He stops, stumped, when he can’t find one.)

Customer: “What is this?” *holds up an onion, looking very confused*

Me: “… That would be an onion.”

Customer: “No, I mean the code. I can’t find it.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh! 4665.”

(My coworker starts crying because she was laughing so hard at the onion comment and had to walk away for a minute to lose it. We still laugh about ‘that’s an onion’ to this day.)