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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Taxing Faxing, Part 10

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at a hotel, which often requires that paperwork be sent to us to verify credit cards and the like. On this particular occasion I am working with a customer whose assistant is out of town and she clearly has no idea what she is doing. Having sent me the wrong paperwork, I call her back.)

    Me: “Ma’am? It appears that we have received the wrong paperwork, so if you could just fax the correct one we will be able to get everything set up for you.”

    Customer: “Okay, but can you just fax that back to me, then?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Those papers! If they’re wrong, I need them back. Send them back to me!”

    Me: “Uh… ma’am, that might be a bit redundant, but I’d be more than happy to destroy the copy—”

    Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID? DON’T DESTROY THEM! THAT’S THE ONLY COPY I HAVE! JUST FAX THEM BACK!”

    (It dawns on me that this customer thinks that her fax machine actually manages to somehow transport the entire paper through her machine to mine.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the fax machine sends me a copy of the documents. If you check your fax machine, you will clearly see the paperwork still laying there. It doesn’t take your original.”

    (I hear a frustrated sigh as she slams the phone, and then muttering and shuffling as she goes through her office. After a minute, she comes back to her phone.)

    Customer: “…sorry.” *hangs up quickly*

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 9
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    Check Out The Living Minerals Aisle

    | North Carolina, USA | Pets & Animals, Technology

    (I work in the fishing department at a sporting goods store. We usually get calls asking our opinion on what equipment to use.)

    Caller: “Hi, is this the fishing department?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to know the best rod and reel to use to catch a rocktail fish.”

    Me: “Where is it you are trying to catch it?”

    Caller: “Oh, it’s a fish in Runescape. So, what should I use?”

    (Note: I don’t play Runescape, but know that it’s a computer game.)

    Me: “Sir, are you asking advice on what rod/reel to catch a digital fish?”

    Caller: “Oh… I didn’t really think this through, did I?”

    Copy That, Not, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (At our copy shop, we have prepaid cards to use in the self serve area. Sometimes, the cards don’t activate right after purchasing them. Any time this happens, simply inserting into the receipt printer will activate it. We’re not sure why, but it works.)

    Customer: “My card won’t work!”

    Me: “Oh, is it saying there’s no money on it?”

    Customer: “Ya! And I gave you $3! It ate my money!”

    Me: “No, it didn’t. Sometimes, the cards take a while to activate. All you have to do it is put it in the receipt printer, and then it will work. As soon as the card pops back out, it’ll be good to go.”

    (The customer storms off. I watch her insert her card into the printer, and then stare are it for almost a minute after it pops back out. She then huffs and makes her way back over to me.)

    Customer: “It’s still not working!”

    Me: “Yep, it should be fixed now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t work!”

    Me: “You haven’t tried to copy with it yet, though. Put it in the copier, and it will work for you.”

    Customer: “Just put $3 on my card!”

    Me: “I did already. It wasn’t working before, but I assure you, it will work now.”

    Customer: “Look, I just want to make copies, and you’re making this difficult for me! I told you already the darn card isn’t working! I put it in the machine like you told me, and then it gave my card back!”

    Me: “Yep, so it should work now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t print a receipt!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay, it will still work. The only reason it didn’t print a receipt is because you haven’t made copies on it yet. But it will work now.”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to me! It won’t work! I put it in that machine like you said and it’s still broken!”

    Me: “Have you tried putting it into a copier yet?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “So, go try. It’ll work.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks off to put it into a copier*

    (It worked.)

    Related:
    Copy That, Not

    How To Count On Feeling Like A 8008

    | Prescott, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working in the electronics section of a store. A customer approaches me to get a calculator for doing taxes. I ensure she has a decently priced calculator, two rolls of paper and extra batteries since she doesn’t have a power adapter. She leaves happily. A few hours later, she returns.)

    Customer: *holds the calculator like a hurt puppy* “Something is wrong with the calculator.”

    Me: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that. What seems to be wrong?”

    Customer: “The display doesn’t seem to be working. I wanted to see about a refund, if possible.”

    Me: “Sure, let me take a look at it.”

    (I begin to take a look over the calculator, checking things like ensuring the batteries are inserted properly, that there’s no visible damage to the casing, and that the calculator had been switched to the “on” position. My eyes wander to the display, and then I look back at her.)

    Me: “I can see why the display isn’t working.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! Could you fix it?”

    (I remove the demo sticker that goes over the display, and hold out the now-working calculator to the customer.)

    Customer: “Um…thank you…” *leaves, embarassed*

    Obviously Infected With Selective Hearingitis

    | Arizona, USA | Language & Words, Technology

    (On an unusually busy day during the slow summer sales period, a customer comes into our department and begins talking to a coworker of mine.)

    Customer: “Hey there! I’m looking for this anti-virus program that my friend told me about. I don’t remember the name, but I know it starts with a ‘k’. Oh, and it sounds Russian! I know I would remember it if I heard i or saw the box!”

    Coworker: “Oh! You must mean Kaspersky! I know it quite well, because it is the only anti-virus that I have used for the last three years.”

    Customer: “No! No, that is definitely not it! You must not know what you’re talking about. I’ll just go find it myself.”

    (I happen to be standing right next to a section nearby that houses only Kaspersky products. The customer looked around a little, and then came up to me.)

    Customer: “Hey there, I talked to one of your friends over there before, and she obviously didn’t know what she was talking about. Ha!”

    (He then repeats the same thing he said to my coworker.)

    Me: “Oh, do you mean Kaspersky?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s the one! That other girl obviously didn’t have a clue!”

    Related:
    A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis


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