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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Still In The Digital Dark Ages

    | Missouri, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [ISP]. I’m [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “There’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *confused* “Uh…tell me a little more about the problem. Can you reach any websites?”

    Customer: “No! How can I get to a website with no light in my castle?!”

    Me: *still confused* “Could you explain…a little further?”

    Customer: *becoming irate* “I’ve poked its belly button a bunch of times, but there’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *epiphany* “Oh! The power light on your desktop tower is not lit?”

    Customer: “Tower, castle, whatever! How am I supposed to know all this technical stuff?!”

    It’ll Click Eventually

    | England, UK | Technology

    Me: “Welcome to the IT service desk. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to click on the power button, but for some reason it’s not working.”

    Me: “The power button?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you know, the one on the bottom right of the screen, with the green light? I’d have thought the help desk would know what a power button is.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you don’t actually click on the power button. It’s a physical object and needs to be pressed with your finger.”

    Customer: *slight pause* “I don’t get it. I’ll go back and try again…”

    You’re Really Pushing My Buttons Today

    | Oregon, USA | Technology

    (I am an administrator at a computer lab.)

    User: “Hey, can I use one of your computers?”

    Me: “Sure, station #3 is free.”

    User: “But the screen is dark.”

    Me: “It’s just the screen saver. Press a button, and it’ll go away.”

    (She presses the power button, effectively turning the computer off.)

    User: “But it’s still dark!”

    Fax Me Up, Scotty

    | California, USA | Technology

    Facsimile, Not Facsteleporty

    (A middle aged woman rushes in and hands me a sheet of paper.)

    Customer: “Can you fax this page to [number] for me?”

    Me: “No problem!”

    Customer: “I’m just going to run next door for a coffee and be right back.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (The customer returns after 10 minutes.)

    Customer: “You didn’t fax it yet?!”

    Me: “Yes, I did actually. It went through fine.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! I can see my paper laying right there!”

    PDF: Please Don’t Fuss

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Technology

    Me: “Do you have a PDF file?”

    Customer: “That’s redundant!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “PDF stands for ‘printable document file.’”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but PDF stands for ‘portable document format.’”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t! It’s ‘printable document file!’”

    Me: “One moment please.”

    (I open up a browser, look up “PDF”, and turn the computer monitor around for him to see.)

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: *leaves without saying another word*


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