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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Her Query Is Ink-conclusive

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A fun new Polaroid style camera has come out and is extremely popular for Christmas gifts. I am talking to a middle-aged woman who should have grown up with film cameras.)

    Customer: “So the camera’s 100 bucks, and the photo paper is 20 bucks for 20? That’s so expensive!”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s a little expensive.”

    Customer: “And how much is the ink?”

    Me: “There is no ink.”

    Customer: “So the pictures aren’t even in colour!?”

    Me: “Yes, they’re in colour.”

    Customer: “Right so when the ink runs out, I’ll have to get more.”

    Me: “No it doesn’t use ink; it’s film.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it doesn’t use ink!? How does the picture print?”

    Me: “It doesn’t technically print; it develops. It’s film.”

    Customer: “I don’t get what you mean.”

    Me: “The film is a special type of paper that reacts to light. When you take the picture, the light imprints on the paper, and when it comes out, it’s a picture. It’s like a Polaroid.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure the ink is expensive.”

    Pouring Oil On Troubled Waters

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m doing in-store demos of an iron that comes with a calcium filter, calcium in the water being that white stuff that comes out of your iron. A woman who purchased the iron last year comes up to me with a question.)

    Customer: “Hi there. Do you know why my iron is leaking brown liquid?”

    Me: “Did you empty your calcium filter?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. Regularly.”

    (I’m just about to tell her to return it for a replacement when she adds…)

    Customer: “Do you think it has anything to do with the olive oil my husband accidentally poured into the water tank?”

    Me: “…”

    Not Always Right And Returns For A Fight

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (It’s relatively normal evening when an irate woman stomps up to the counter and slams a piece of paper down in front of my coworker.)

    Lady: “I DEMAND to know who wrote this!”

    (My coworker is taken aback but looks at the paper the woman has put on the counter.)

    Coworker: “…Um.”

    Lady: “WELL?!”

    Coworker: “I’m, uh, sorry, but there’s no real way to know—”

    Lady: “It SAYS it was written down in a shop like this! And this is EXACTLY how my argument was with one of your associates, VERBATIM!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry that you’re upset—”

    Lady: “Upset!? I’m a LITTLE more than just f****** UPSET! This makes it seem like I’m in the wrong! I WAS NOT WRONG!! And I DEMAND to know who is responsible for this! I knew you were all unprofessional but this is ridiculous!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry you feel this way but I really don’t know how to help you. It says that this took place in California but I would have no idea who wrote this. I could ask around and tell my manager about this—”

    Lady: “Yeah, you DO that. And I want whoever is responsible to remove this from the Internet. I am not in the wrong!”

    Coworker: “I’m sure that—”

    Lady: “I AM NOT IN THE WRONG!”

    (She left with a huff and I went over to my coworker to see what the heck that was all about. Turns out the lady had actually printed out a screenshot of a story featured on Not Always Right! The lady returned an hour or two later asking for the paper back, as she realized she had gone to the wrong [Sandwich Shop] where she had had an explosion apparently similar to what the story entailed. She left without an apology or even a simple “thank you” but at least she indirectly helped us to find this website! And to the other [Sandwich Shop] workers within the area: be warned for the crazy lady with a piece of paper blaming her for having been in the wrong.)

    Not Speaking The Same Language

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Technology

    Caller: “It says select a language. What do I do?”

    Me: “Select your language.”

    Caller: “So if I go to another country, I can change it to their language?”

    Me: “You could but you’re still going to be the one using the phone so you would probably still want to leave it on a language you speak.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay.”

    Putting The Dotted ‘I’s And Crossed ‘T’s Into IT

    | Quebec City, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The client made a mistake in an application form and now has to send an email asking the service to cancel it.)

    Me: “Okay, now you have to send an email to cancel the document. Here is the email address: d-i-s…”

    Client: “How do I put the point on the ‘I’?”

    Me: “I don’t understand.”

    Client: “How do I put the point on the ‘I’? You know, the dot over the letter ‘I’?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Client: “So?”

    Me: “The computer automatically puts the dot over the letter, you don’t have to do anything.”

    Client: “Wow, technology is so great today. Before, you had to manually put dots on I’s and cross your T’s too!”

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