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  • A Total Brazil Nut
    (1,445 thumbs up)
  • Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Time To Take A Screenshot In The Dark

    | Europe | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our tech support department has just sent out an email with instructions on how to configure something, complete with screenshots. I overhear the colleague next to me receiving a support call.)

    Colleague: “Hello, this is tech support. How can I help you?”

    Colleague: “Yes, you have to follow these instructions.”

    Colleague: “You see that dialog box?”

    Colleague: “Great, click the okay button!”

    Colleague: “What do you mean, nothing happens?”

    Colleague: “You should really see that other screen after clicking okay on that dialog box!”

    Colleague: “You do see the dialog box, right?”

    Colleague: “Good, and you do click okay on it, right?”

    (After about 15 minutes of trying to figure it out, I see my colleague doing a double face-palm and trying hard not to laugh.)

    Colleague: “Okay, so it works now?”

    Colleague: “Great, thank you for calling! Have a nice day!”

    Me: “So what was the problem?”

    Colleague: “You’ll never guess… the person was clicking the screenshot!”

    Adamant To The Watery Grave

    | Reno, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am a bystander in a well-known electronics store, waiting my turn to be helped by the repair counter. There is a couple ahead of me, having the woman’s phone examined.)

    Tech: *showing them with a flashlight* “As you can see, the moisture indicator is dark red, which means there’s water damage and we can’t repair the phone.”

    Customer: “What?! Water damage?! That’s ridiculous! I’ve never even taken it anywhere NEAR any water!”

    Tech: “I’m sure that’s the case; however, we can’t fix the phone.”

    (With much emphasis on how this wasn’t her fault, the woman begrudgingly decides to get a new phone.)

    Customer: “And you have to transfer the pictures. There are SO MANY pictures on there.”

    Tech: “Well, since I can’t connect it to the computer, I unfortunately can’t do that for you. Unless you have them backed up on your computer at home?”

    Customer: “I don’t do that! Can’t you just wifi them over? Why can’t you do that?! I’m telling you, there’s no way there’s water damage! It’s never even come into the bathroom with me!”

    (The very patient tech explains the situation, several times, and finally goes to the back to make the switch. The woman turns to her husband.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe it! And that had all the pictures on it from our trip to the beach, too!”

    If Only You Could Listen To Yourself

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I work on the drive-thru. It is in the winter and after we close. I pull my car up near the drive-thru window so I can run a cord out to the block heater while we close up. Most of the store lights are off, including the drive-thru menu and ‘open’ sign. Any cars that pull up after close hear an automated message: ‘thanks for your visit, but we are currently closed.’ As I’m cleaning, I can overhear the message on a headset that’s still on, but I ignore it; we usually get lots of customers showing up after close. About 20 minutes after, as we’re nearly finished, we suddenly hear banging and shouting at the window. The manager goes to the window and tries to tell her we’re closed, but she won’t have it, so he opens the window.)

    Lady: “What the f*** is going on here?! I’ve been in line 20 minutes and there’s not even anyone in this car!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we’ve been closed for over 30 minutes now.”

    Lady: “So why is the car just sitting here?!”

    Manager: “That’s an employee’s car; we’re warming it up so it’ll be warm when we go.”

    Lady: “That’s fine, but what about my order? The car is in the way you know! Your dumb-a** employee shouldn’t park in the drive-thru.”

    Manager: “Well, I told you. We’re closed now.”

    Lady: “Well, I ordered 20 minutes ago. What happened to that?”

    (We all took off our headsets as soon as we closed, but my manager asked us if we took an order anyway.)

    Manager: “No one here talked to you, ma’am.”

    (The lady looks at me and the other guy standing behind the manager.)

    Lady: “Well, some lady took my order. She shouldn’t have done that if you’re closed”

    (At this point, we all figure out what has happened.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, the only lady that worked tonight left four hours ago. Did you actually listen to what they said to you?”

    Lady: “Yes. Well, no, not really. She answered and I placed my order. I was on the phone at the time.”

    Manager: “Well, sorry, but that was an automated message informing you that we we’re closed.”

    Lady: “…well, it should be more clear when you’re not open!”

    (She walked away before we could point out the three different signs she would have passed that have our hours listed.)

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

    | Croatia | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Good evening. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *shouting* “Your data USB stick is garbage!”

    (She continues to rant: It doesn’t work! You ripped me off! I’m going to report you!)

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; could you tell me what the problem is?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t work! I am a well educated woman and know how to use the computer and your device is trash!”

    (I proceed with a step by step troubleshooting with her, and she continues shouting the whole time, and keeps repeating how she is smart and stuff like that. Meanwhile, every check I ask her to do on her computer fails, and she yells even more. Finally, in all this noise coming from her, I hear something like, ‘stupid device, I’ll throw it off the table!’)

    Me: “Miss, where is your USB stick right now?”

    Customer: “What kind of question is that?! It’s on the table!”

    Me: “Is it inserted in your computers USB port?”

    Customer: “Of course not! You clearly don’t know how to use it! It says wireless on the box!”

    Me: “Miss, do you see any wires coming from the device?”

    Customer: “Um… no.”

    Me: “Do you know what wireless means?”

    Customer: *silence*

    Me: “I’m gonna assume that’s a no, so pick up the device and plug it in your computer!”

    (I heard the computer start to execute installation, as our software plays a melody while installing, and then the line disconnected.)

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13

    All Smoke, No Mirrors

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

    (A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Guest: “I want to check out!”

    Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

    Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

    Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

    (I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

    Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

    Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

    Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

    Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

    Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

    Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

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