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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Tai-Want It Now

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Geography, Technology

    (I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)

    Repair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”

    Customer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”

    Repair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”

    Customer: *leaves, defeated*

    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 4

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I’m trying to get on to the computer, but the mouse cursor is just jumping all over the screen erratically. Can I swap to a different one?”

    Me: “Of course, if there’s another one free.”

    Customer: “But how do I log off this one if I can’t get the mouse cursor to press the button?”

    Me: “I’ll come over and sort it in a second.”

    (I walk over. Instantly, I see the problem.)

    Customer: “Maybe there’s a loose wire or something?”

    Me: “Well, if you turn the mouse back the right way round, it should work.”

    Related:
    How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 3

    Phone-y Claim

    | Norway | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Top

    (A young couple known for having drug problems regularly hangs out at our store. One day, the girl is so high she trips over her own feet and falls outside our door. Her boyfriend makes a huge fuss and claim we have to pay for it because she ruined it at our property. We check with our main office and discover we have no legal duty to pay her. A few weeks pass before they show up at our store again.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store], how can I help you?”

    Girl: “Don’t you remember me? I fell outside of here. It’s your store’s fault because the ground was uneven. That’s dangerous.”

    (The ground outside was fine, and had been when she fell, but I didn’t want to argue.)

    Me: “Oh, yes, I remember that, I hope you feel better from that fall.”

    Girl: “Well, my phone got broken.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    Girl: “It’s your store’s fault it got broken. You should pay up so I can buy a new one.”

    Me: “How is it broken?”

    Girl: “The screen is broken and nothing works. I can’t read messages or take calls or anything. It’s just ruined.”

    Me: “Well, here’s the address to the main office, you can mail them and make your claim.”

    Girl: “No. I need the cash.”

    Me: “I can’t give out cash for a broken phone I haven’t seen, for a price I don’t even know is legit.”

    (The girl grumbles and cusses for a while, but agrees to write up a claim to send. Meanwhile, her phone starts to ring and she answers it, talking to her boyfriend.)

    Me: “Was that the ruined phone?”

    Girl: “Yes, look at that crack!”

    (She shows me a small hairline crack at the side, but it’s otherwise functioning properly.)

    Me: “You said it couldn’t even make phone calls.”

    Girl: *turns a pale and walks out without a word*

    (Thankfully, we never saw her again.)

    Getting Out Of A Scrape

    | Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

    Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

    (My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

    Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

    (The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

    Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

    Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”

    Customer: “NO, IT WAS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE! YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT I DID THIS!”

    Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

    (The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)

    PEBCAK, Episode VI

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

    (I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

    Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

    Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

    (I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

    Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

    Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

    (I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

    Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

    Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

    (The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode V


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