Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,559 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Needs A System That’s The Cat’s Meow

    | USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Pets & Animals, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for a company that sells audio equipment.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I help you with an order? ”

    Customer: “I need your system!”

    Me: “Well, we have a lot of great items in our product line, but you’ll have to be more specific. What system are you looking at today?”

    Customer: “The CD player! I had one but it broke and I need yours to play my special CDs!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t understand. What kind of special CDs do you want it to play?”

    Customer: “The ones I got for my cat. It’s special music to help felines relax.”

    Me: “So they’re regular CDs for your cat. Okay, I can help with that.”

    Customer: “I alternate back and forth, one CD of his music, then one of mine. It has to play both.”

    Me: “I can assure you that on the [Model Name] you’ll both be able to enjoy your favorite songs together.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. No, we can’t do that. He’s in kitty heaven now, but will it play his CDs?”

    He’s Fully Armed

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, One-Liners, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I am watching the walk-through metal detector when two teenagers line up to walk through. The first walks through. It doesn’t alarm and he gets excited. Then the second boy walks through…)

    Me: “Okay, walk through.”

    (The teenager walks through timidly then stops and stares at me.)

    Me: “You’re good to go.”

    (He then looks at his arms in astonishment.)

    Teenager: “Wow, I’m surprised these guns didn’t set it off!”

    Second Life, Same Bigotry

    | USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I create products for several virtual worlds. Please note that I’m male and so is my primary character. I also have a female character logged in for doing testing when I get a message from a customer.)

    Customer: “I’m having problems with one of your products.”

    Me: Can you describe the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, I really need you to see. Can you come?”

    Me: “Well, I have a screen full of programming and building, but I have a friend who I’m sure can help.”

    Customer: “Okay, that will be fine.”

    (I send my female character and never let on that it’s actually me. The problem gets resolved quickly and I bring my female character home. The customer messages me again.)

    Customer: “YOU SENT A WOMAN!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Why did you send a woman?”

    Me: “Well, did you two resolve the problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, BUT IT WAS A WOMAN!”

    (Punch-line? The customer was female, too!)

    No Credit For Offering Help

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I am ringing up an older customer at a grocery store. When it is time to pay she swipes her debit card. She wants to use it as credit and in order to do this, you have to press the red button and hit credit when the machine asks for your pin. The customer keeps putting in her pin and then tells me she wants to do credit, so I have to cancel her card numerous times.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you want to use your card as credit, press the red button when it asks for your pin then press credit.”

    (The customer ignores me and continues to type in her pin so I turn the machine around to help her.)

    Customer: “How about you stay back there and do what you’re supposed to do and let me do what I’m supposed to do! You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about!”

    (I sit there and watch her struggle with it for a couple more minutes.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR WHAT?!”

    He’s Driving an ’05 Pontiac Paradox

    | Salisbury, MD, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I receive a call from a customer who speaks in a completely serious, business-like tone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [National Auto Parts Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. What are you working on today?”

    Customer: “I have a 2005 Pontiac Grand Prix, and I need a Flux Capacitor.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say you need a Flux Capacitor?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have one?”

    Me: “No, the only one who has one of those would be ‘Doc Brown.’”

    Customer: “Where are they located?”

    Me: “Well, I’m not sure where he is at this point in time…”


    Page 6/109First...45678...Last