Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

(I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

(The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

Should Have It Pinned Down By Now, Part 2

| Williamstown, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “How do I do credit?”

Me: “Just hit ‘credit’ when the options pop up on the pin pad. Then when it asks for a pin number, don’t enter anything, just hit the green button.”

(The customer reaches the pin pad option and enters a series of numbers. After a moment, the card is declined.)

Me: “I’m sorry, did you want credit?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Don’t enter any numbers; just hit the green button when it asks for your pin.”

(Again the pin prompt comes up, and again she enters numbers; nine of them.)

Me: “Ma’am, what are you typing?”

Customer: “My phone number!”

Me: “Your… phone number?”

Customer: “That’s how I always do it!”

Related:
Should Have It Pinned Down By Now

Getting Red Over Going Green

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m ringing out a lady who is using two cards for one transaction. One is a gift card and the other a debit card.)

Me: “Just run that through as credit.”

Customer: “Which one is credit?”

Me: “Hit enter.”

Customer: “Which one?”

Me: “The green one.”

(She hits green and I give her a second total and she goes to slide her second card.)

Customer: “I want credit.”

Me: “Okay, same thing, just hit green.”

Customer: “I hit cancel for credit?”

Me: “No. Enter.”

Customer: “Which one is enter?”

Me: “Green.”

Customer: “Red?”

Me: “No. Green.”

Deep Fried Attitude

, | AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Technology

(I am working in the drive-thru during a busy breakfast rush when a snooty customer pulls up.)

Customer: *taking her food and shakes it* “How many calories is this? The girl on headset said you were going to find that for me!”

(We have the calorie count for practically every item in a program on our registers – right down to a single slice of cheese – so despite the massive line, I quickly check. For some reason, while we have the nutritional information for the breakfast sandwich as a whole, we don’t have the information on just the chicken filet, which is all she ordered.)

Me: “I’m really, sorry, but for some reason we don’t have it in our system. I know that if you go on the company website, though, they will have it under the ‘nutrition guide’ tab and—”

Customer: *disgusted* “I shouldn’t HAVE to go online. You should have it HERE!” *drives away*

Manager: *waves at receding car* “You have a nice day, too!”

Me: “If she’s that concerned about calories, maybe she shouldn’t be eating fried chicken for breakfast?”

Manager: “Seriously!”

Your Part In This Is Over

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Technology

Me: “Morning, sir! Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a part for a lamp.”

Me: “Well, we don’t carry a lot of parts, but there’s always a possibility that I’ll have it. What is it that you’re looking for?”

Customer: *describes part*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but we don’t carry anything like that. Unfortunately it’s not even something I can order, since our suppliers wouldn’t carry anything like it, either. I’m not even sure where to send you for it since it’s a bit unusual. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help!”

Customer: Oh. Well, see, it’s…” *describes part again*

Me: “I’m sorry if I was unclear. I know what part you’re looking for, I just don’t have it.”

Customer: “Maybe you have one in the back. It looks like…” *describes part again*

Me: “I know exactly the piece you’re describing. I’m sorry, but I’m 100% sure that we don’t have it. I can show you our parts department if you like. It’s pretty limited since we don’t do our own repairs here.”

(I take the customer to the back, where they look for the part themselves.)

Customer: “I don’t see it here. It’s…” *describes part yet again*

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know what to tell you. You don’t see it because I don’t have it. I have never had it. I will never have it. If you do ever find a place that carries it, let me know so that I have somewhere to send people in the future. Right now, I can’t do anything for you.”

(The customer gears up to begin their description again. My manager has witnessed the whole exchange and speaks up:)

Manager: “You should go to [Big Box Chain].”

Customer: “Oh, wow, thanks!” *leaves*

Me: “I didn’t know [Big Box Chain] carried things like that! Thanks, [Manager]!”

Manager: “Oh, [Big Box Chain] won’t have it either. I just figured he could go bug them for a while.”

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