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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Not Addressing The Problem

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (A customer calls in to report problems with their cell phone. I’ve determined it is a network issue.)

    Me: “So, I will just need to know the location where you are so that I can tell the technician.”

    Customer: “What? I’m not giving you the address! That’s not my job! I just need you to come out and fix it. It’s in Chicago.”

    Me: “Well, in order for our techs to know what tower to fix, they need to know where you are having the issues. Without an address, I can’t put in the ticket.”

    Customer: “No! I am not giving you the address! I am so sick and tired of this stuff! I had the same problem with [other provider]! You don’t need an address to fix it; you just don’t want to help!”

    Me: “I do want to help, which is why I need an address. Even if the system would let me put the ticket in without an address, you’d then be waiting for months for a resolution while we check every tower in Chicago. In order to help, I need to know where to send my techs.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I have a business to run! I don’t have time for this s***!”

    Me: “It looks like you have a water-sprinkler company. If one of your customers reported a problem with a pipe you laid, would you go around the entire city checking every pipe, or would you require that customer to give you an address to assist?”

    Customer: *huffs* “That is not the same thing, and you know it! Now get someone out here immediately!”

    Wasn’t Sold On What He Was Told

    | NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] technical support. What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to send a report to [company], but when I try I’m getting this message about my account being expired. Hang on; let me read it to you. ‘Your account is expired. Please contact the sales department to renew.’ Is this something you can help me with, or do I need to call sales?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Deaf To Reason

    | USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (I am taking orders face to face with a tablet. There is live music and a ton of people, so it’s loud. Customers constantly cannot hear me, so I start out most interactions with a strong, loud voice.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Uh, a turkey sandwich?”

    Me: “All right! Did you want the large or original size?”

    Customer: *louder than me* “You don’t have to yell!”

    Me: *lowers down to a normal volume* “Sorry, ma’am, did you want the big or small size?”

    Customer: “Huh?” *leans down close to hear me*

    Mass Defect

    | Copenhagen, Denmark | Bigotry, Technology

    (I’m a female employee in a video game store. The latest edition to the ‘Mass Effect’ series has just come out, which I happen to be a great fan of. A customer approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to get this game for my son. I heard it is the new one?”

    (The customer holds out a copy of ‘Mass Effect 2′ for PC, which is not the newest one.)

    Coworker: “Yeah, I think so, I am not sure. Let me ask my coworker.” *refers to me* “Is that the right one?”

    Me: “No, that’s the previous one. Please follow me, and I’ll show you where they are.”

    Customer: *snorts* “That’s alright missy; I’ll take your coworkers word for it. Why don’t you go back to your Pokémon?”

    Me: “I promise you, sir, that’s not the game your son wants. If I can just—”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “Can you ring this up for me, please?”

    (My coworker seems a bit unsure at this point, but decides to ring it up for him anyway. The customer walks away happily with his purchase, and I make nothing more out of it. A few hours later, the customer comes storming back in, literally SLAMMING the game on the desk.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you people? Have you NO knowledge whatsoever about what you’re selling?! You got me the wrong game! My son already has this! Talk about a f****** rip off!”

    (I quickly snatch a copy of ‘Mass Effect 3,’ and join them at the desk.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I believe this is the game you were looking for.”

    (The customer stares at the game case, clearly getting more angry.)

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** couldn’t you have showed it to me earlier?!”

    Me: “Because you wouldn’t allow me to. You told me to go back to my Pokémon.”

    (At this point, the customer blushes greatly, but before he can say anything else my coworker intervenes.)

    Coworker: “Let’s just make a return on that game and ring you up the right one.”

    (The customer agrees, and is acting much calmer during the transaction. I’ve gotten quite used to prejudices at this store because of my gender, but at this point I was just happy his son could finally enjoy the right game!)

    Price-Rise Of The Machines, Part 2

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    (A customer is paying for her order at the cash register.)

    Manager: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: “Debit.”

    Manager: “Would you like to leave a tip?”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! If I wanted to leave a tip, I would have left it on the table. That is so rude of you to ask!”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. The computer is asking if you want to leave a tip.”

    Customer: “Oh, so computers talk now, huh? Just like how the roof talks. And the floors, too. You’re just full of it!”

    Related:
    Price-Rise Of The Machines


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