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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    No Common Scents, Part 3

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Bizarre, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in the call center, making bookings for vehicle maintenance. I have just booked the customer in for a service.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you would like us to take a look at while your vehicle is with us?”

    Customer: “Yes, last weekend I took a load of rubbish to the dump and the car smelt funny, but the smell was gone after a couple of days. Could you get the guys to take a look?”

    Me: “So, you transported rubbish in your car and that made your car smell, but the smell has now gone, and you would like us to look into that?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Not a problem.”

    Related:
    No Common Scents, Part 2
    No Common Scents

    Made A Good Call

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Technology, Top

    (I’m a cashier, but we have the phones by us and answer all calls. A woman calls and is frantic; she’s lost her iPhone and explains what it looks like. It’s slow, so I go and hunt for it. I find it and call her back.)

    Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] from [Store]. I found your phone and have it with me up at the registers. Whenever you’d like to come in and pick it up will be fine.”

    Customer: “Oh, my God! Thank you, thank you! I’ll be in soon to grab it!”

    (About 20 minutes later, a customer comes in and approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m the lady who lost her phone. Pink case, with white polka dots.”

    Me: “Yep, I’ve got it right here. It wasn’t any trouble really.”

    Customer: “You’re the one who went and found it right? Thank you so much! Here take this!”

    (She proceeds to put some money in my hand. I stammer and shake my head, but she insists.)

    Customer: “I would’ve had to pay a lot more to replace the phone, and you were kind enough to find it and hold it for a klutz like me. I insist you take this and buy yourself something nice!”

    (The customer then left, leaving me with a $40 tip that I used to buy sushi for my boyfriend and me!)

    Time For A Tea-V

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

    Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

    Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

    Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

    Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

    (The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

    Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

    Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

    Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

    (My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

    Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”

    Didn’t Read The Signals

    | WA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I overhear a library patron talking to his small daughter.)

    Patron: “You’re turning five today; do you know what that means?”

    Daughter: “Uh…”

    Patron: “Do you know what you finally get today? It’s so exciting!”

    Daughter: “A pink Nintendo DS?!”

    Patron: “What? Uh, no. We’re getting you a library card.”

    Me: “…weeee! Happy birthday!”

    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3

    | Springfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (I have worked with a customer for about 10 or so minutes to find a pair of jeans. I hear a beeping from what sounds like a cell phone coming from the customer, but he is ignoring it.)

    Me: “We have some of these on clearance here—if you need to take that, it’s fine.”

    Customer: “Oh naw, that’s just my bracelet.”

    (The customer leans down to his ankle to reveal a huge black bracelet for house arrest.)

    Customer: “The battery is dying.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    (We move to the register.)

    Me: “We have a [drugstore] close by if you need any sort of battery.”

    Customer: “Naw, I gotta go home and charge it. Can I go put these on?”

    Me: “Sure, let me take the tags off for you, and we can process it when you come back.”

    (He returns after this, and we process the exchange. He thanks me, and his bracelet begins to beep again…)

    Related:
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
    About To Get Charged With Battery


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