Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,126 thumbs up)
  • Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Time To Play The Trump Card

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am at the register at work putting through a sale. The customer’s card has declined twice but instead of getting embarrassed or giving me another card like most people, this guy decides to get angry.)

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to use another card!”

    Me: “Then how would you like to pay sir? I do accept cash.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your machine is broken!”

    Me: “I assure you it isn’t broken. The person before you paid by card and it went through perfectly.”

    Customer: “Then you’re not doing your job!”

    Me: *losing the friendly retail face and looking him dead in the eye* “Sir, I’ve worked in retail for 10 years. I have bought goods and services for 15 years. I know how to use an eftpos machine. I cannot be held responsible for your card. Perhaps you should contact your bank on Monday?”

    (The customer leaves in a huff after throwing some cash at me.)

    Next Person In Line: “Jesus, what was HIS problem? It’s an eftpos machine, not a freakin’ tardis!”

    Should Keep Better Account Of Her Account

    | SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a library that offers computer services to patrons. We get a lot of people who don’t know anything about computers.)

    Patron: “Can you help me out? The computer won’t let me check my email.”

    Me: “Sure. Let’s see what’s wrong.”

    (We walk over to her computer.)

    Patron: “Now see, I put in my email address and hit enter and it doesn’t sign me in!”

    Me: “Well, first of all, you’re on the Google search engine, not an email site. If you have Gmail, then you click on that little button right there that says ‘Gmail’ and then you can enter your email address and password.”

    Patron: “I don’t have Gmail. I have Yahoo!”

    Me: “So you’re trying to access your Yahoo email through the Google search bar by typing in your email address and hitting enter?”

    Patron: “Yes! It won’t let me on! Fix it!”

    Me: “Okay, one second.” *types in Yahoo mail into the address bar* “There. Now put in your email address and password and it will sign you in. You need to be on the Yahoo mail site to access your yahoo mail.”

    Patron: “Password? I don’t have a password!”

    Related
    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

    Taxing Faxing, Part 12

    | NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a small public library with a self-service fax machine. The machine walks you through sending a fax with an automated verbal prompt. A coworker comes to find me at my desk.)

    Coworker: “Can you lift the fax machine up?”

    Me: “What? Why?”

    Coworker: “She got her card stuck in it.”

    (Our fax machine does not have a credit card reader. Now confused, I approach the patron.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Patron: “My card is stuck in the fax machine.”

    Me: “Can you show me where?”

    (She points to the paper feed.)

    Me: *digging the card from the machine* “How did this happen?”

    Patron: “The voice said, ‘put in the card number,’ so I put the card in the machine.”

    Me: “Miss, it doesn’t scan the card. It scans the pages you want to fax. You have to manually type the card number using the number keys on the pad.”

    (The patron gives me a dumbfounded look.)

    Me: *pointing to the numbers* “The numbers on the front of your credit card are the actual account number. That’s how the machine knows to charge your account.”

    (Same dumbfounded look.)

    Me: *sigh* “Here, let me help you…”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 11
    Taxing Faxing, Part 10
    Taxing Faxing, Part 9
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    A License To Kill Hope For Humanity

    | Rochester Hills, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work customer service desk at a local retail store. Sometimes I cashier when we’re busy.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer starts swiping her card, but it won’t read)

    Me: “Go ahead and swipe the card again. It didn’t catch it the first time.”

    (The customer swipes the card again, but it still won’t read. She keeps swiping it, and on one of these swipes I catch a glimpse of the card she’s using. She is getting increasingly frustrated.)

    Customer: “WHY. WON’T. THIS. SWIPE!?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, take a look at your card for me, please?”

    (The customer looks at her card. It’s her driver’s license.)

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Not Getting Closer To The Solution

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The library does faxes for patrons.)

    Librarian: “Okay, what’s the number, sir?”

    Patron: “One. Eight.. Oh-oh. Five… Five. … Five… Two… Two.”

    Librarian: “I’m sorry, sir, we seem to be missing a digit.”

    Patron: “That’s okay. Just write them all together. Closer together, baby.”

    Librarian: *staring at sheet of paper* “Write them.closer together?”

    Patron: “Uh-huh, like she told me to. 1800552. No spaces or nothin’.”

    Librarian: “They’ll all be together when I dial out—”

    Patron: “Just try it that way!”

    (The librarian, baffled, copies the number on his pad without any spaces at all.)

    Patron: “Exactly! It should work now.”

    (It didn’t.)

    Page 36/143First...3435363738...Last