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  • Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize
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  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Living In Her Own Pizza Pie In The Sky

    | UT, USA | Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take out or delivery?”

    Customer: “Hi. Um, can I get a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, olives—”

    Me: “Yes. I just need to know if you will be coming to pick this up, or if you would like to have it delivered?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (The customer proceeds to order food without telling me if it’s for take-out or delivery which is info that we need to take the order. To make things worse just at that moment my computer freezes making it impossible to take an order.)

    Customer: “… and I would also like to add a salad on to that order—”

    (The customer continues to order food at light speed as I try to interject.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I need you to hold on for a second.”

    (The customer is completely oblivious to everything I’m saying, and continues to order.)

    Me: “Miss, I need you to hang on for just a second. My computer froze and I am unable to take your order for a moment.”

    Customer: ” Okay, I think that’s everything. How much will the total be?”

    (I am completely dumbfounded by this woman.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I have to put you on hold. Hang on for one moment.”

    (I put the woman on hold and notify my manager that one of the computers has frozen. I proceed to take the order on another computer but when I take the phone off hold I find that the customer has hung up. 15 seconds or so pass and the phone rings again. This time my coworker answers the call.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take-out or delivery?”

    Customer: “Hi. Yes. Um, I just called in and your phone person hung up on me. We had the order paid for and everything.”

    (Never in my life have I dealt with a more oblivious person.)

    Common Sense Isn’t In The Cards

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a grocery store that has a club card for ‘extra’ savings. Two customers come up with a six-case of wine. I ring them up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “What is this?! You are charging me too much! Fix it!”

    Me: “If you just swipe your club card, the price will drop. Do you have one?”

    Customer #1: “You are overcharging me! Give me my money!”

    Me: *calmly* “Do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “I said give me the correct price NOW!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need to put in your club card number for the discount. Do you have—”

    Customer #2: “Listen, girl, just give us the correct price!” *begins screaming in unison with friend*

    Me: *being interrupted every other word* “I cannot give it to you without a club card. Would you like to sign up for one?”

    (Eventually, I beckon my manager over and end up using one of our spare cards to show them the discount. He smoothes things over, but not before one of them tells him that I should be more polite. He pulls me aside to ask what happened.)

    Me: “They wouldn’t let me even explain that they needed a club card for their discount.”

    Boss: “Well, next time, just swipe it. And remember, just because you and I have common sense doesn’t mean they do.”

    A Text In The Wrong Direction

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

    Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

    Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

    Their Intelligence Is Capped

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “Your password isn’t working on this computer!”

    Me: “Really? That’s weird. Everyone else seems to have logged in just fine.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not working for me and I need you to fix it.”

    Me: “All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

    (I walk over to my computer and double check to make sure I have the password right when it comes to me what the problem is.)

    Customer: “Well?”

    (I glance at his keyboard and sure enough, caps lock has been turned on. I press the caps lock key and start walking back to my desk.)

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Upend The Send

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our branch has just got a new drive through carrier system. The old system had canisters that opened the long way by flipping open but this new system has canisters that open by twisting the ends. All of the employees have been talking customers through the difference all week.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “How do I open this canister?!”

    Me: “It is different than the old canisters. These canisters open by twisting the ends. Once you’re set, send it in and I can get that taken care of for you.”

    Customer: “Well, how do I send it in?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “What does this ‘call teller’ button do?”

    Me: “It calls a teller, sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “I put it in there, why won’t it go?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “It won’t go!”

    Me: “You’re pushing call…”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Uh…”

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