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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    The Big Bang Was Not A One-Time Event

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (At the store a customer left their phone behind. Per store policy, we can hold the phone for the customer, but we can’t answer it if it rings, in case the customer then tries to claim that we either broke or tampered with it.)

    Coworker: “You look stressed.”

    Me: “I am!”

    Coworker: “Why?”

    Me: “Because the phone has the ENTIRE theme to The Big Bang Theory as the ringtone. And it won’t… stop… ringing…”

    Deaf To Reason, Part 5

    | QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology

    Manager: “Can you please see that customer; he says he’s having trouble hearing his phone.”

    Me: “Which is it, he can’t hear it or the sound isn’t working?”

    Manager: “I’m not quite sure. Um, also… he’s deaf.”

    Me: “What?”

    Manager: “Please, you’re so good with these customers.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I head over and greet the customer and run a few basic checks on his mobile and immediately see the volume is working as it should.)

    Me: “Well, sir, the volume appears to be working just fine, but you were having trouble hearing it, is that correct?”

    Customer: “Oh, I can hear it just fine now. That’s no problem. But sometimes I like to go for a walk and when I do, I take my hearing aid out. Then I can’t hear it anymore! What do you suggest I do?”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “…uh, I suggest you put your hearing aid back in?”

    (The customer nods and looks at me expectantly, as if I have further advise to dispense.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I really can’t think of any other solution, under the circumstances.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, I suppose that will have to do then!” *walks off looking quite dissatisfied*

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason, Part 4
    Deaf To Reason, Part 3
    Deaf To Reason, Part 2

    More Money Than Sense

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (As I am ringing up a customer, I begin asking her the standard questions that I’m required to ask as a cashier. She is buying a tablet.)

    Me: “Would you like to add on a year of coverage to this in case it gets dropped or stops working?”

    Customer: “No, it’s only $100. If it breaks, I’ll just get a new one.”

    Required: One Marauder’s Map

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a large retail store that requires maps for customers. An older woman approaches me with said map…)

    Woman: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

    Woman: “Well, that map:” *points to the one bolted to the floor* “It shows me where I’m currently standing, but this one:” *shows the paper map she’s holding* “doesn’t. Why?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that’s the map you actually carry throughout the store. There’s no way for it to know where you are at any time.”

    Woman: “Well, all of your maps should show me where I am in the store!”

    Me: *taking her paper map* “Let me see if I can get the GPS on this paper map fixed for you.”

    Remotely Stupid

    , | Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Cellphone Carrier]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi! I would like to update my cellphone.”

    Me: “Sure! I can help you. I see you have an iPhone. Can you please go into your settings?”

    Customer: “Oh! Do I have to do it? I thought you had to press a button from your computer and work your magic.”

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