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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

    | USA | Hotels & Lodging, Technology

    Guest: *on phone* “Your Internet’s not working.”

    Me: “Hmm, let me check… Yes, it is working. That means it’s your computer that has a problem.”

    Guest: “My computer’s brand new! I VERY much doubt it has a problem.”

    Me: “Well, how about you bring it down to the front desk and I could have a look and maybe make it work?”

    Guest: “FINE!”

    (She hangs up. She brings an old battered looking Mac model that I’m not familiar with.)

    Guest: “I still believe it’s your Internet that’s not working, and you’re too ashamed to admit it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, our Internet works fine! See?”

    (I hold up my tablet, which has the Internet working fine on it.)

    Guest: “Humph! Then why won’t it work on my computer! It’s my son’s and he said it was brand new!”

    Me: “I don’t know…”

    (After a while of poking around, I realize the wireless adapter is not turned on. I look for the switch or button but can’t find it. The lady finally calls her son to ask where it is and we finally get it working.)

    Me: “There, see? It’s was just that the wireless was not turned on. Now it’s working fine…”

    Guest: *red faced* “It was still your Internet that was the problem! I will complain!”

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14

    Email Fail, Part 5

    | Espoo, Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in small photo lab/copy-and-print service. A middle-aged man approaches my counter:)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need you to scan this so I can put it in the Internet.” *hands me a paper*

    (I was a bit confused and tried not to laugh. The customer had received an e-mail, printed it out, and now needed me to scan it so he could put it on the web!)

    Related:
    Email Fail, Part 4
    Email Fail, Part 3
    Email Fail, Part 2

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I provide a replacement business cell phone for a user who misplaced hers. During the delivery process of the new phone I ask:)

    Me: “Have you been able to find the original phone?”

    Caller: “I’ve looked in every room except the one I think it’s actually in.”

    Related:

    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10 
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9 

    Must Be Using 2% Of Their Brain

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name and account number, please?”

    Customer: “God d*** it, not this again. Look, I just need you guys to send me a god d*** technician to fix my Internet! It’s been three days since it was installed and it still doesn’t work!”

    (At this point I take a deep breath and grab my stress ball.)

    Me: “Oh, well, that’s no good. Newly installed and not even working? I definitely understand the concern, but I’d be more than happy to help figure out what’s going on and see if we can get you online.”

    Customer: “Yeah, whatever. Just fix it.”

    Me: “Okay, well, let’s start off with what exactly isn’t working? Are you not connected to the wifi? Is the—”

    Customer: “Look, I’ve already typed the d*** wifi password in 10 times and it doesn’t work. I just need a technician.”

    Me: “If we need to set you up with a technician we will, but we could probably fix this over the phone pretty quickly. Now, this might seem like a silly question, but what wifi password are you using? By the way, the password is on the si—”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, it’s on the side of the modem. I already know.”

    Me: “Okay, well, read it off to me so I can make sure we’ve got the right one.”

    Customer: “TWO-ZERO-SLASH-ZERO-B-F-THREE-….”

    Me: “Okay, thank you. Now, I noticed you said you were putting in ’20/0′ for the first four characters, right?”

    Customer: “YES, that’s what I just said!”

    Me: “All right, the correct password is ‘2%BF3. That’s a percent sign, ma’am.”

    (Three minutes later…)

    Me: “Did it work?”

    Customer: “…Yes.”

    Me: “All right, it looks like we didn’t have to send that technician after all!”

    Related:
    Must Be Using 1% Of Her Brain

    The Color Of Stupid, Part 2

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I have some old photos that I want printed, but I want them to be in colour.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, we don’t actually Photoshop colour into the photos here. You’ll have to use a different service for that. We only print and copy photos.

    Customer: What are you talking about? Just scan the photos and colour copy them.”

    Me: “Oh, so the photos are already in colour?”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to me. The photos are in black and white so I want you to make a colour copy of them so they come out in colour.”

    Me: “Sir, that’s not how photos work. I can’t bring colour out of a photo that has no colour to begin with.”

    Customer: *now yelling* “Just listen to me and maybe you’ll get it through your thick head! Just copy… my black… and white photos… in COLOUR.

    (I take one final attempt to explain it to him.)

    Customer: “FINE. If you won’t do that, I’ll just have to take a photo of the black and white photo with my colour camera, and then you can print that out because it will be in colour! Or are you too dumb to figure that out as well?”

    (I hung up after that point. I truly worry about people.)

    Related:
    The Color Of Stupid

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