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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Bulk Mail To The Future

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Math & Science, Technology

    Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

    Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”

    Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”

    Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”

    Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”

    Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”

    Right-Click Wrong-Click

    | Ireland | Technology

    (I’m twenty minutes into troubleshooting an internet connection.)

    Me: “Okay, now right-click on that screen.”

    Caller: “Right-click. It’s not working.”

    Me: “Just make sure you’re right-clicking for a moment.”

    Caller: “I will. Right-click, see nothing happens! Can’t you fix this already?”

    (I realize that she is left-clicking on the page for nothing to be happening.)

    Me: “Can you click the button on the right hand side for me?”

    Caller: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing because it’s not working!”

    Me: “Do you know your left from your right?”

    Caller: “Obviously!”

    Me: “Look at your mouse.”

    Caller: “I am looking at it.”

    Me: “See the button on the left and the button on the right? Click the button on the right.”

    Caller: “Oh it worked. I thought you meant your right!”

    So Slow It Hertz

    | North Carolina, USA | School, Technology, Top

    Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account.”

    Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

    Caller: “What’s a browser?”

    Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

    Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

    Me: “That’s a search engine.

    Caller: “Ask.com?”

    Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

    Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

    (This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

    Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

    Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”

    Not Getting The Picture

    | Melbourne, Australia | Technology

    (I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

    Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

    Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

    Off-Handed Comment

    | Manchester, UK | Health & Body, Technology

    Caller: “Hi, I’ve placed an order some weeks back and I’m just chasing up when it might be delivered.”

    Me: “Certainly, just bear with me a moment. I’ll just need to track it on the computer.”

    (I proceed to log on to the order system, having a bit of difficulty as I’m only able to type with one hand while the other holds the phone.)

    Me: “Sorry, bear with me a moment, it’s quite difficult to type with one hand.”

    Caller: *in a sincere tone* “Why have you only got one hand?”

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