Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,528 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Hugh Do You Think You Are

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Me: *wrapping up the call* “Thank’s very much Hugh! Was
    there anything else?”

    Caller: “And what was your name? Oh Emma, right.”

    Me: “My name is Uma.”

    Caller: “Yuma?”

    Me: “Like Uma Thurman.”

    Caller: “Oh, like the actress? Are you as pretty as she is? Do you look like her?”

    Me: “No. Do you look like Hugh Grant? Or Hugh Jackman?”

    Caller: “Try Hugh Hefner.”

    When The Only Typing Available Is Stereotyping

    | Elkridge, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology, Top

    Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a cable.”

    Me: “Ok. I’ll take you to our cables, what kind of cable do you need?”

    Customer: “Uhm…. a cable. USB? I need to hook up a computer.”

    Me: “Here are our USB cables, but could you be a little more specific?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “These are not what I need at all! I need a cable! Are you deaf? I need a  C-A-B-L-E. I need one for my computer.”

    Me: “Sir, there are a lot of cables, if you could tell me what kind of thing you were trying to hook up?”

    Customer: “Is there anyone else on the floor that can help me!? Maybe one of the computer guys? You’re obviously too stupid to understand.”

    Me: “Sir, I am the only one on the floor at the moment and I am trying my best to help you find your cable.”

    Customer: “Miss, why don’t you go back to the registers where you belong and bring me a computer guy?”

    Me: “Sir, I am the tech person and would be happy to help you find your cable. Could you show me an example of what you mean?”

    (The customer, extremely agitated, goes to a display computer.)

    Customer: This is what I wanted! A cable!”

    Me: “You mean a keyboard?”

    Customer: “Um…yes.” *sheepishly leaves the store*

    When Grave Concerns Are Warranted

    | Canada | Technology, Top

    (After talking to an elderly customer about a computer and all its benefits, I try to talk to him about our in-store warranty.)

    Me: “So are you interested in purchasing this computer and having it protected for three years through us?”

    Customer: “I would be dead by then.”

    Me: “Then it would be a lifetime warranty.”

    Customer: *laughs*

    Wifi Works Best With A Mouse

    | Newark, NJ, USA | Pets & Animals, Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I’m interested in this ‘wifi’ you’ve got. I want it in my house.”

    Me: “Do you have a cable or DSL connection?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a device hooked up to a phone line or cable line that gives you internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do. Can you bring me a wifi?”

    Me: “Sure miss, we’ve got our routers all over in this area.”

    Customer: “Routers? Won’t that scare the wifi away?”

    A Grave Concern

    | Shreveport, LA, USA | Health & Body, Technology

    (I am the only representative in the Texas queue. I had spoken to this customer 15 minutes previously, before I went on break. He is my first call when I get back.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Phone Company]. How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Aren’t you the one I talked to earlier?”

    Me: *checking the account info* “Yes sir, I did speak to you earlier. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “You told me the technician would be out here on Monday. Well that’s not good enough! I need him out here right now!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 9 pm on Saturday evening. Our technicians go home at 7 pm and do not work on Sundays.”

    Customer: “I don’t care, you get someone out tonight! I have a medical condition and if something happens to me while my phone is out, I’m calling my lawyer!”

    Me: “Sir, I will be more than happy to send you the letter for a doctor to verify that you have a medical condition requiring your phone services to be on 24/7. Unfortunately, because the status is not currently on the account, I will not be able to get a call-out approved.”

    Customer: “I don’t want your letter! I want my services back on! If something happens to me on the weekend and I die, you’ll be hearing from me!”

    Page 125/135First...123124125126127...Last