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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    When Grave Concerns Are Warranted

    | Canada | Technology, Top

    (After talking to an elderly customer about a computer and all its benefits, I try to talk to him about our in-store warranty.)

    Me: “So are you interested in purchasing this computer and having it protected for three years through us?”

    Customer: “I would be dead by then.”

    Me: “Then it would be a lifetime warranty.”

    Customer: *laughs*

    Wifi Works Best With A Mouse

    | Newark, NJ, USA | Pets & Animals, Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I’m interested in this ‘wifi’ you’ve got. I want it in my house.”

    Me: “Do you have a cable or DSL connection?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a device hooked up to a phone line or cable line that gives you internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do. Can you bring me a wifi?”

    Me: “Sure miss, we’ve got our routers all over in this area.”

    Customer: “Routers? Won’t that scare the wifi away?”

    A Grave Concern

    | Shreveport, LA, USA | Health & Body, Technology

    (I am the only representative in the Texas queue. I had spoken to this customer 15 minutes previously, before I went on break. He is my first call when I get back.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [Phone Company]. How may I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Aren’t you the one I talked to earlier?”

    Me: *checking the account info* “Yes sir, I did speak to you earlier. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “You told me the technician would be out here on Monday. Well that’s not good enough! I need him out here right now!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s 9 pm on Saturday evening. Our technicians go home at 7 pm and do not work on Sundays.”

    Customer: “I don’t care, you get someone out tonight! I have a medical condition and if something happens to me while my phone is out, I’m calling my lawyer!”

    Me: “Sir, I will be more than happy to send you the letter for a doctor to verify that you have a medical condition requiring your phone services to be on 24/7. Unfortunately, because the status is not currently on the account, I will not be able to get a call-out approved.”

    Customer: “I don’t want your letter! I want my services back on! If something happens to me on the weekend and I die, you’ll be hearing from me!”

    IQ Falls In The West

    | Hays, KS, USA | Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Alright sir, in order to get this taken care of we will need to know the manufacturer of brand name of the product.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

    Me: “The company that makes the product.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “It will state who makes it on the product.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know! It was China!”

    Yukon Freeze It

    | Kelowna, BC, Canada | Canada, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Company] customer service. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “You sound different. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Canada. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Canada? How big is the igloo you work in?”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t live in igloos. In fact, it’s about 40˚ here at the moment.”

    Caller: “40˚ is freezing!”

    Me: “40˚ Celsius. That’s 104˚ Fahrenheit.”

    Caller: “Oh my god, how do you keep your igloos from melting?!”

    Related:
    Yukon Not Spend It
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan
    Yukon Spend It
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map

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