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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Right-Click Wrong-Click

    | Ireland | Technology

    (I’m twenty minutes into troubleshooting an internet connection.)

    Me: “Okay, now right-click on that screen.”

    Caller: “Right-click. It’s not working.”

    Me: “Just make sure you’re right-clicking for a moment.”

    Caller: “I will. Right-click, see nothing happens! Can’t you fix this already?”

    (I realize that she is left-clicking on the page for nothing to be happening.)

    Me: “Can you click the button on the right hand side for me?”

    Caller: “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing because it’s not working!”

    Me: “Do you know your left from your right?”

    Caller: “Obviously!”

    Me: “Look at your mouse.”

    Caller: “I am looking at it.”

    Me: “See the button on the left and the button on the right? Click the button on the right.”

    Caller: “Oh it worked. I thought you meant your right!”

    So Slow It Hertz

    | North Carolina, USA | School, Technology, Top

    Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account.”

    Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

    Caller: “What’s a browser?”

    Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

    Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

    Me: “That’s a search engine.

    Caller: “Ask.com?”

    Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

    Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

    (This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

    Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

    Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”

    Not Getting The Picture

    | Melbourne, Australia | Technology

    (I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

    Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

    Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

    Off-Handed Comment

    | Manchester, UK | Health & Body, Technology

    Caller: “Hi, I’ve placed an order some weeks back and I’m just chasing up when it might be delivered.”

    Me: “Certainly, just bear with me a moment. I’ll just need to track it on the computer.”

    (I proceed to log on to the order system, having a bit of difficulty as I’m only able to type with one hand while the other holds the phone.)

    Me: “Sorry, bear with me a moment, it’s quite difficult to type with one hand.”

    Caller: *in a sincere tone* “Why have you only got one hand?”

    Get A Life

    | Alabama, Canada | Technology

    Caller: “My friend told me that there is something better than the TV service I have right now.”

    (I have been looking at his account for over 20 minutes. He has full HD TV service.)

    Me: “Well, you have full HD TV. The only thing better would be to upgrade to a Personal Video Recorder.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want one of those. I want better picture on my TV!”

    Me: “You have better picture on your TV. You have HD TV.”

    Caller: “No! You don’t understand. My friend told me that there is something better than what I have. I want that! What is it?”

    (Note: this was before 3D TV was available.)

    Me: “Well, there is talk of things like 3D TV, but the technology is a ways away. It’s not something available now. You currently have the best thing available on the market today.”

    Caller: “No! There is something better! What is better than HD TV?”

    Me: “The only thing better than HD TV is real life.”

    Caller: “Real life? Well, how do I get that?”


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