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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    The Price Of Laziness

    | Norway | Technology

    Customer: “My phone doesn’t work, it has dial sound only!”

    Me: “Okay, what I need you to do is to reset your phone by disconnecting it from the power and try the main phone connection.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t have time to do that. You have to send out a serviceman and fix this now!”

    Me: “Yes, of course we can do that. However, if the serviceman discovers that the problem is related to your phone or cables, you will have to pay for the service which is 1875NOK (around $290 USD).”

    Customer: “What did you say that I had to do first?”

    D as in Duh

    | Germany | Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “This computer’s serial number is 5, 2, Bravo, Delta–”

    Customer: “Whoa, hold up! I’m a civilian, I don’t do that military lingo. Try that again.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s 5, 2, B, D–”

    Customer: “Wait, was that two B’s?”

    Me: “No, that’s Bravo, Delta.”

    Customer: “I’m not in the military! Speak English!”

    Me: “B as in Bravo. D as in Delta.”

    Customer: “There, was that so hard?”

    For Ditzy Customers, Please Press 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Technology

    (I am calling a customer to let them know that their order is in.)

    Me: “May I please speak with Mrs.***?”

    Customer: “Speaking.”

    Me: “Hi there, this is Sarah, I’m calling from [store] to let you know that your order is in, and you can come pick it up anytime.”

    *long pause*

    Me: “Hello?”

    Customer: “Oh! I’m sorry. I thought you were a recording!”

    Naturally Stupid, Part 2

    | New York, NY, USA | Math & Science, Technology

    Caller: “I can’t access [cable channel]!”

    Me: “Okay, let me assess your problem. When was the last time you tried to access [channel]?”

    Caller: “It was last night.”

    Me: “Alright, was there any out-of-the-ordinary weather last night? Say, like a storm?”

    Caller: “Yeah, there was a thunderstorm. I had nothing to do, so I was trying to watch [channel name], but it wouldn’t let me! It was all fuzzy on the screen.”

    Me: “Sir, I think the thunderstorm interfered with your television power lines, which is why you couldn’t access your channel.”

    Caller: “But I thought your cable company was supposed to make me able to watch any channel in any weather! That’s the whole reason I switched!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, nothing can prevent Mother Nature. When she strikes, we cannot do anything to bring back channels that may have been lost momentarily.”

    Caller: “Who’s ‘Mother Nature’? Is she the one sabotaging my TV?!”

    Related: Naturally Stupid

    In(Console)able

    | Connecticut, USA | Technology

    (A young little girl walks up to the one of the cashiers.)

    Girl: “Do you have any ?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. We’re all out right now.”

    Girl: “Can you go in the back and make one?”

    Me: “We can’t make [consoles]. We get shipped the [consoles] to sell.”

    (With a sullen look, the little girl walks away and comes back soon after with her mother.)

    Mother: “You don’t have any [consoles] currently?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we do not.”

    Mother: “Well, can you go in the back and make one?”


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