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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Some Calls Really Push The Envelope

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

    Me: “Hi, Welcome to the post office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a problem, I deleted all the messages on my house phone, how do I get them back?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well I only wanted to delete one message on my phone, but they all got erased, can you help me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand the problem. You know you have called the postal service, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well unfortunately I can’t assist you. You may need to ring the manufacturer of the phone and see how to get your messages back.”

    Customer: “But it’s voice-mail! Mail! Why can’t you help me?!”

    Hugh Do You Think You Are

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Me: *wrapping up the call* “Thank’s very much Hugh! Was
    there anything else?”

    Caller: “And what was your name? Oh Emma, right.”

    Me: “My name is Uma.”

    Caller: “Yuma?”

    Me: “Like Uma Thurman.”

    Caller: “Oh, like the actress? Are you as pretty as she is? Do you look like her?”

    Me: “No. Do you look like Hugh Grant? Or Hugh Jackman?”

    Caller: “Try Hugh Hefner.”

    When The Only Typing Available Is Stereotyping

    | Elkridge, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology, Top

    Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a cable.”

    Me: “Ok. I’ll take you to our cables, what kind of cable do you need?”

    Customer: “Uhm…. a cable. USB? I need to hook up a computer.”

    Me: “Here are our USB cables, but could you be a little more specific?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “These are not what I need at all! I need a cable! Are you deaf? I need a  C-A-B-L-E. I need one for my computer.”

    Me: “Sir, there are a lot of cables, if you could tell me what kind of thing you were trying to hook up?”

    Customer: “Is there anyone else on the floor that can help me!? Maybe one of the computer guys? You’re obviously too stupid to understand.”

    Me: “Sir, I am the only one on the floor at the moment and I am trying my best to help you find your cable.”

    Customer: “Miss, why don’t you go back to the registers where you belong and bring me a computer guy?”

    Me: “Sir, I am the tech person and would be happy to help you find your cable. Could you show me an example of what you mean?”

    (The customer, extremely agitated, goes to a display computer.)

    Customer: This is what I wanted! A cable!”

    Me: “You mean a keyboard?”

    Customer: “Um…yes.” *sheepishly leaves the store*

    When Grave Concerns Are Warranted

    | Canada | Technology, Top

    (After talking to an elderly customer about a computer and all its benefits, I try to talk to him about our in-store warranty.)

    Me: “So are you interested in purchasing this computer and having it protected for three years through us?”

    Customer: “I would be dead by then.”

    Me: “Then it would be a lifetime warranty.”

    Customer: *laughs*

    Wifi Works Best With A Mouse

    | Newark, NJ, USA | Pets & Animals, Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I’m interested in this ‘wifi’ you’ve got. I want it in my house.”

    Me: “Do you have a cable or DSL connection?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a device hooked up to a phone line or cable line that gives you internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do. Can you bring me a wifi?”

    Me: “Sure miss, we’ve got our routers all over in this area.”

    Customer: “Routers? Won’t that scare the wifi away?”


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