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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    When A Firewall Just Doesn’t Cut The Mustard

    | Norway | Technology

    Me: “Can you check the cable from the wall to your router?”

    Customer: “What cable?”

    Me: “The DSL cable. The one that goes from the phone-outlet in the wall, to the router.”

    Customer: “That ‘wall’ you are talking about…is that something you installed for me?”

    Computers Increase The Chance Of Identity Theft

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Top

    (A customer is requesting a refund on a computer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I cannot give you a refund on your computer.”

    Customer: “What?! Why the not?!”

    Me: “You don’t have a receipt. It’s two years old, and long out of warranty.”

    Customer: “I’ll have you know, I’m a lawyer and I could sue you for everything you’ve got!”

    Me: “We only have a 30 day refund policy. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “I’m an assistant attorney general, and I will have you reported! This is an outrage!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Don’t you take that tone with me! I’m a board member of this chain, and you need to serve me!”

    Me: “If there is nothing else, I’m going to have to ask you to remove your device and leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t tell me to leave! I’m the owner’s nephew!”

    Me: “Please calm down and leave.”

    Customer: “Do you have any idea who I am?!”

    Me: “Do you?”

    Tech Support Is Rendered Fruitless

    | Minnesota, USA | Technology

    Customer: “My computer has fruit in it!”

    Me: “Like what?”

    Customer: “Every time I turn my computer on, it has a fruit in it.”

    Me: “You mean an apple?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

    Me: “That means you have that brand of computer. Do you need anything else, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really like apples. Can I get a cantaloupe on it instead?”

    Grandma Vs The Internet

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology

    (A customer brings in her desktop for repair.)

    Customer: “Excuse me sir, can you help me? I’ve done something terrible.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “Well, I was on the computer, and all of these naughty images started to pop up. Well, I didn’t want my grandkids thinking their grandma was into something nasty, so I started to delete things and well…I’ve deleted the internet!”

    Me: “It will be alright, ma’am. I think we can save the internet.”

    The Sun Is A Slacker Abroad

    | Rutland, VT, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hi ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “I am looking for a solar powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”

    Me: “Yep, just follow me.”

    Customer: “Also can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”

    Related:
    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2
    The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes


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