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  • Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Guilty As Charged

    | Herndon, VA, USA | Technology

    Caller: “My phone went off and won’t go back on! And now, it’s threatening to arrest me or something!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s threatening…to arrest you?”

    Caller: “Yes! It says I’m being charged with battery!”

    Still In The Digital Dark Ages

    | Missouri, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [ISP]. I’m [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “There’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *confused* “Uh…tell me a little more about the problem. Can you reach any websites?”

    Customer: “No! How can I get to a website with no light in my castle?!”

    Me: *still confused* “Could you explain…a little further?”

    Customer: *becoming irate* “I’ve poked its belly button a bunch of times, but there’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *epiphany* “Oh! The power light on your desktop tower is not lit?”

    Customer: “Tower, castle, whatever! How am I supposed to know all this technical stuff?!”

    It’ll Click Eventually

    | England, UK | Technology

    Me: “Welcome to the IT service desk. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to click on the power button, but for some reason it’s not working.”

    Me: “The power button?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you know, the one on the bottom right of the screen, with the green light? I’d have thought the help desk would know what a power button is.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid you don’t actually click on the power button. It’s a physical object and needs to be pressed with your finger.”

    Customer: *slight pause* “I don’t get it. I’ll go back and try again…”

    You’re Really Pushing My Buttons Today

    | Oregon, USA | Technology

    (I am an administrator at a computer lab.)

    User: “Hey, can I use one of your computers?”

    Me: “Sure, station #3 is free.”

    User: “But the screen is dark.”

    Me: “It’s just the screen saver. Press a button, and it’ll go away.”

    (She presses the power button, effectively turning the computer off.)

    User: “But it’s still dark!”

    Fax Me Up, Scotty

    | California, USA | Technology

    Facsimile, Not Facsteleporty

    (A middle aged woman rushes in and hands me a sheet of paper.)

    Customer: “Can you fax this page to [number] for me?”

    Me: “No problem!”

    Customer: “I’m just going to run next door for a coffee and be right back.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (The customer returns after 10 minutes.)

    Customer: “You didn’t fax it yet?!”

    Me: “Yes, I did actually. It went through fine.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! I can see my paper laying right there!”

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