November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Price-Rise Of The Machines

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(We recently had a coupon printer installed that gives out coupons to customers. It says “Please take your coupon” whenever it prints.)

Coupon printer: “Please take your coupon.”


Me: “But… don’t you want your coupon? It’s good for 50 cents off a granola bar.”

Customer: “I would rather pay full price than do anything a robot tell me to!”

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

| Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

(I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

Son: “Pleeeaase?”

Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

Mother: “Is there violence?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there shooting?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there blood?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

Son: “But I want it!”

Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

Technically They Should Be Embarrassed

| Italy | Bigotry, Technology, Transportation

(I’m a woman in her 20s, and I look quite young. A group of men in their 30s have come in, having booked a minivan for a trip to the Czech Republic.)

Me: “…and here’s your rental agreement. It states that the car is a diesel, but please check yourself at the gas station, because the computer-provided data about the cars have been known to be wrong.”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? I’m a grown-up man for God’s sake!”

Me: “Certainly not, but such mistakes happen more often you’d like to think. I’m only saying this to avoid you having to pay for any damages, or simply having a broken car in the middle of your trip.”

Customer: “Well, you’re a girl, so I’m not surprised you don’t know that the type of fuel the car requires is written on the gas refilling hole. I’m not surprised you know nothing about cars; it’s a man thing and requires some technical knowledge.

Me: “Okay then. Have a nice trip and be safe!”

(The customers go out to the parking lot. I can see them fidgeting with the remote, and have some trouble just opening the car. Once inside, I see them pushing various buttons on the radio and still not driving out of the parking lot. After several minutes, the customer I’ve spoken with comes back in.)

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Customer: “…I can’t find the handbrake.”

Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2

| Flemington, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a cashier at a retail store, keeping an eye on the self-checkout area. I am not supposed to ring up customers on the machines, only assist whenever there’s a problem. A woman comes up to me with a few items.)

Customer: “Hi, you need to ring me up.”

Me: “This is the self-checkout. The ladies over there would be happy to take you if you don’t want to use the machines.”

Customer: “This is self-checkout?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, I hate these self-check things. Can’t you just ring me up at that register there?”

(She points at a computer monitor, lying on the floor near the garbage cans, with a large crack easily visible across the screen. I think she’s joking but realize she’s serious.)

Me: “Um. No, I can’t, sorry. If you don’t want to use the self-checkout, the cashiers right behind us can—”

Customer: “Why can’t you ring me up at that register?!”

Me: “Well, because that’s not a register, ma’am.”

Customer: “You don’t call that thing over there a register?”

Me: “Nope, I call that a broken computer monitor.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Lack of Register Does Not Register

Future Technology

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Geeks Rule, Technology

Me: “Hi, my name is [name]; thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling because my internet is, uh, working… again. Huh.”

Me: “Well, I am prescient. I do usually try fix the problems before people call, but I am running behind today.”

Customer: “Dude, that’s awesome. Keep it up.”

(Later, we get an email about how “the tech who can see the future” should get a raise.)