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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Technology

    The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

    Needs To Wipe That From Her Own Memory

    | Absecon, NJ, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (We have a cell phone section of our store, which I know nothing about, and is the only department I don’t work in. An older man comes up to me holding out his phone, across the store from where phones are located. I’m a 20-year-old female.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? Do you know anything about cell phones?”

    Me: “Sorry, no, but I can take you over to [Coworker], who does.”

    (I start to walk over to phones, but he stops me first and takes out his phone.)

    Customer: “Do you think I need more memory on my phone? You see, I have to hide this from my wife.”

    (He opens his pictures and videos. All there is is porn.)

    Me: “Uhm… I don’t know… Let me take you to [Coworker.]”

    (I start to walk again, and again he stops me.)

    Customer: “Look how clear the videos are!”

    (He starts playing a video, of hardcore porn.)

    Me: “Uh… yeah, it’s very clear. But I really don’t know anything about phones so…”

    (He keeps playing video after video, and finally a male coworker walks by.)

    Me: “Hey! [Coworker], can you help this ‘gentleman’ with his phone and memory cards?”

    (I practically ran away.)

    Wishes He Could Back Up The Conversation

    , | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in our airline’s IT dept. One of our guys is finishing his shift and passes a task on to me to delete a user’s Windows profile when the user is not busy. I noticed this user has an assigned network drive with a shortcut to it on his desktop so I figure he knows how to use it.)

    Me: “So, I’m gonna remove your profile from the registry and then delete your profile folder. This will delete everything you have. Do you have all of your important documents backed up?”

    User: “Yeah, it’s all good. Go ahead and delete it.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I delete his profile’s registry entry and then go to delete his folder. I notice he has about 3GB of data as it builds its list to delete.)

    Me: “It seems you have three gigs of data in your profile. Just want to make sure everything that you need is backed up, because it will all be gone.”

    User: “Yeah. It’s good, man. Do what you gotta do.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I let the delete finish and then restart the computer.)

    User: “So, the files that were on my desktop, where do I go to get those back?”

    Me: “The files on your desktop? You told me you backed everything up, so they have been deleted.”

    User: “I’m not very savvy with computers. I don’t know what ‘backup’ means.”

    The Final Word On Passwords

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in an internal technical support where we have just recently change password systems that have strict requirements for new passwords. A customer is having trouble with creating a new password. It should be noted that this customer speaks perfect English.)

    Customer: “It won’t accept any of the new passwords I make up.”

    Me: “Well. keep in mind that the passwords have to be at least eight characters long, and have letters and numbers.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that you have to have letters and number and all of the letters and numbers add up to eight. Like four letters and four numbers. Or six letters and two numbers. It can be more than eight characters too, so anything that adds up to eight or more.”

    Customer: “No one can come up with that many letters… This is too hard.”

    Me: “Um… Some people like to pick a word and then put some numbers at the end of the word. So long as you don’t use the word ‘password’ it will accept it.”

    Customer: “A word? Like what? What words? Can’t you just make one up for me?”

    Me: *feeling very uncomfortable and frustrated now but still wanting to help* “Well, what’s your favorite color?”

    Customer: “Green! I love green.”

    Me: “Okay… So, make your password ‘green’ and then add the year you were born to the end.”

    Customer: “But… green isn’t a word.”

    Me: “Wait… What?”

    Customer: “You said pick a word.”

    Me: “… Just type in ‘greenXXXX.”

    Customer: “Oh that worked! Thank you! But you should be more clear with your directions next time.”

    Me: “Yes, I’ll do that. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

    A Truly Confusing Exchange

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I have a customer who is getting ready to travel out of the country. I often have people ask about using cash, travelers checks, and credit cards while abroad.)

    Me: “… Another option that is available to you is using ATMs to get cash out once you are where you are going. That way you aren’t walking around and traveling with a large sum of cash.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I can get some money and exchange it at a bank there.”

    Me: “No, you can just get the money from the ATM directly without having to

    exchange it.”

    Customer: “But the money I get from the ATM is US dollar.”

    Me: “No, the ATM dispenses the local currency.”

    Customer: “Why can’t I get money from an ATM when I’m out of the country?”

    Me: “You can. It will just be in the local currency.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! Why can’t I get US money from an ATM?!”

    Me: “Because the ATM is not in the US. The same reason our ATM out front does not dispense any money other than US currency.”

    Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get my money when I’m traveling!”

    Making A Mute Point

    | IL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am at visiting a game store that I go to quite often, to the point that most of the employees consider me a “regular”. Due to a throat injury I received when I was younger, I am mute. I’m there to see if they have a copy of a game that had, at the time, just come out. There are only two employees working at the time; both are behind the counter as I walk in. Any ‘dialog’ of mine for this story is actually just me scribbling into a notepad and showing it to whoever I am speaking to, as it’s my main method of communicating.)

    Employee #2: “Hey, [My Name], are you looking for something?”

    Me: “Yeah. I was hoping you had a copy of [Game], since I wasn’t able to reserve a copy.”

    Employee #1: “Yeah, we have a few. I’ll show you where they are.”

    (He shows me to where they are, and leaves me to do some extra browsing. He returns to the register, where his coworker is, when another customer approaches them. He appears to be in his late-teens/early 20s.)

    Customer: “Hey, you really shouldn’t encourage her like that.”

    (The customer gestures to me, and isn’t even being subtle about it.)

    Employee #2: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no clue what you mean.”

    Customer: “That girl over there! If you treat her like a normal person, she might get the wrong idea!”

    Employee #1: “With all due respect, what are you even talking about?”

    Customer: “Don’t play dumb! She’s clearly retarded! Won’t it look bad for business if you let a [slur] wander around? And besides, she’s a girl! She probably doesn’t even play video games!”

    (Unfortunately, people assuming I am either deaf or mentally handicapped because of my inability to speak is a common occurrence. I’ve gotten used to it, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. Still, I do my best to ignore it. The assumption that I don’t play video games because I’m a girl isn’t as common, but it does come up once in a while.)

    Employee #2: “Please forgive me, sir, but I’m going to have to ask that you not speak about her that way. Not only is she a regular customer, but she’s definitely NOT mentally handicapped. She just can’t speak because of—”

    Customer: “Right! Because she’s retarded! I don’t think it’s safe to let her wander around the store. What if she ends up making someone else retarded?!”

    (All three of us are completely dumbfounded. As mentioned before, I’m used to these sorts of assumptions, but this was a new one.)

    Customer: “So are you going to kick her out or not? People like her don’t deserve to be in here!”

    Employee #1: *visibly angry, and doing his best to keep his cool* “No, we’re not. However, if you don’t stop insulting out customers, we are going to have to ask YOU to leave!”

    Customer: “What the h***, man?! I’m just looking out for your best interest! If you wanna treat that [slur] like she’s a person, that’s your business, but don’t come running to me if it hurts your business!”

    Employee #1: “Okay, that’s it. We tried being civil. Please leave and don’t come back.”

    (The customer is clearly pissed off, but before he can say or do anything, I walk over and slip a note into his hands. He instinctively reads the note.)

    Me: “By the way, you can call me retarded all you want, but at least I’m not the one with their fly unzipped.”

    (He looks down and confirms that his fly is, indeed, unzipped. His face turns a shade of red, and then storms off in what I can only assume was a combination of rage and embarrassment. We still laugh about it to this day!)


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