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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Spouses & Partners

    Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

    Judging By Their Cover

    | Augusta, GA, USA | Books & Reading, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m stocking the front-of-store. A couple asks me for help.)

    Wife: “Hi, we’re looking for a gift for a really weird friend of ours. He’s really hard to shop for.”

    Me: “Sure, what sort of thing are you looking for?”

    Husband: “No, he’s really weird. He actually likes to read books.”

    Wife: “Hush, honey. He works in a bookstore. He’s probably weird too.”

    Indentured Shoe-vitude

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I overhear an older married couple.)

    Husband: “What are we doing here?”

    Wife: “What do you see all around you?”

    Husband: “Shoes.”

    Wife: “That’s right.”

    Husband: “Crap.”

    Lieutenant Dan’s Fruit Company

    | Vejle, Denmark | Spouses & Partners, Technology

    Caller: “It won’t stop loading! I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes and it hasn’t stopped loading yet! Help me!”

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. Let’s start by refreshing the page.”

    Caller: “Re… what?”

    Me: “Refreshing, ma’am.”

    Caller: “How do I do so?”

    Me: “Which kind if computer do you have?”

    Caller: “Why?”

    Me: “Which button you have to push depends on your computer. Is it a normal PC or an Apple?”

    Caller, to husband: “Honey, she’s rambling! Now she thinks we’re selling apples! How stupid does she think I am!?” *click*

    Married To No One Inn Particular

    | Annapolis, MD, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m checking in a woman who walked into our hotel. We have 2 rooms left, and are one of the pricier hotels in the area.)

    Me: “Your room will be [price] plus tax per night.”

    Customer: “You don’t have anything cheaper?”

    Me: “Not right now. We are almost sold out tonight.”

    Customer: “Not triple A?”

    Me: No, I’m sorry.

    Customer: *mumbling* “My house burned down!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry.”

    Customer: *mumbling* “I’m dying!”

    Me: “Uhm…”

    Customer: “My husband just died!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “He was in the military! I want a room for a hundred dollars less!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t ever offer rooms that low. There are hotels right across the street that do, though.”

    Customer: “No! I want to stay here! My husband loves this place. It’s the only place he will stay.”

    Me: “Your deceased husband?”

    Customer: “Uh, no, the other one.”

    Me: “Your other husband?”

    Customer: “Just give me a room.”

    (She gets keys, walks out of the hotel, and returns with a man.)

    Customer: “See, he isn’t dead!”

    Me: “I’m glad to see that.”

    Customer: *to man* “She was trying to kill you!”

    A Serious Case Of Old-Timers

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Spouses & Partners

    (I am cutting the hair of an 86 year old man. He asks if I’m from the area, and I tell him I live in an apartment building near by.)

    Customer: “So you live there with your husband?”

    Me: “I live there with my boyfriend and my best friend.”

    Customer: “You live with your boyfriend?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “And you’re not married?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “But you live together?”

    Me: “Right.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of that before.”


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