Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,546 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Spouses & Partners

    Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

    Til Delivery Do Us Part

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am! It’s [my name] from [store name]! I wanted to let you know your order came in—”

    Customer: “Oh! Yes, would you ship it—oh, hold on.”

    (There’s long pause.)

    Customer: “Actually, will you call me back in a couple days? I’m just sitting here waiting for my husband to die.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Oh, my…I am so sorry your husband is ill, ma’am—”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget to call me, okay? Bye!” *click*

    Good Luck Getting A Word In Equal-wise

    | Norway | Spouses & Partners

    (I work for a power company. When we call up a customer, we only get the name of the person the bills are sent to, and it’s not unusual for us to speak with his or her spouse instead. This was apparently the case here. It should be noted that I am female.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [my name] from [power company]. Is [husband's name] available?”

    Customer: “Let me tell you, in this house, we are equal! I want nothing of that around here!”

    Me: “I am very sorry if you took offence, ma’am, but I only saw your husband’s name on my screen—”

    Customer: “Well, we are equal! If you’re going to come here with that kind of thing, I want nothing more to do with you!”

    Me: “Yes, I do apologise, but—”

    Customer: “If that is how you people treat us, you can forget about us being customers! In this house, we’re equal!”

    Me: “I am very sorry, and I apologize for any inconvenience!”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Don’t Get Your Pantyhose In A Twist

    | Canada | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

    (The phone rings. My co-worker, a very proper, older lady, answers it.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [name of store] Beauty Department. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

    Coworker: “I beg your pardon?”

    Caller: “Do you have pantyhose on?”

    Coworker: *shocked* “Oh my! Such filth! I have never in my life!”

    (She hangs up and runs to the break room completely flustered. A minute later the phone rings again and I answer it this time.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name] Beauty Department, how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes hello, I would like to know if you have pantyhose on sale this week? My husband called to check for me a moment ago and somebody hung up on him.”

    Get The Correct Word, Step By Step

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Funny Names, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m stocking the shelves in the electronics/gadgets section when a husband and wife come over. The husband is shouting behind the wife.)

    Husband, to me: “Pedometer! She wants a PEDOMETER!”

    Wife, to husband: “Shut up! I know what I want!”

    Husband: “Tell her it’s a Pedometer!”

    Wife, to me: “Hi, do you have any pedofi–”

    Me: “Pedometers!”

    Losing Cruise Control

    | Keene, NH, USA | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners, Tourists/Travel

    (I am working in the fitting room when a woman walks up to my counter.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. How many items?”

    Customer: “You don’t sell winter jackets, do you? I didn’t see any. Nothing like this that I bought at [other store]. This cost me only eighty-nine dollars!”

    Me: “That’s very nice, ma’am.”

    (I try to remain friendly as the woman shows me her jacket, her purse, and the shoes she is currently wearing. This goes on for about ten minutes.)

    Customer: “You know, I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. Now I need to buy a swim suit, but I don’t suppose you have any, do you?”

    Me: “Actually, we just got a bunch of bathing suits in a few weeks ago. They’re over in the corner of the women’s department.”

    (The customer spends about ten more minutes telling me about all of the different cruises she had been on. I’m trying not to be rude, but I have other customers who are trying to get into the fitting room. One by one they go in, and one by one this customer stops them to tell them about all of her cruises. All in all, this lasts for about fifteen more minutes.)

    Customer: “And would you believe that I’m fifty eight years old! I look great for my age, don’t you think? It’s because of all of the cruises I’ve been on! At least two a year. I’m very rich.”

    Me: “That’s nice, ma’am.”

    (Eventually, the customer’s husband comes over and grabs her by the arm.)

    Customer’s husband: “Why are you still over here?! You’ve been here for nearly half an hour.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was just telling this nice young lady about all of the cruises you’ve taken me on!”

    Customer’s husband: “You’ve never been on a god d*** cruise in your entire life, you old bat!”


    Page 8/14First...678910...Last