Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Just Telling It Like It Is
    (3,017 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Spouses & Partners

    Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

    A War Veteran Ally

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Military, Spouses & Partners

    (We have a regular customer who is a WW II veteran, at least 90-years-old, and lives alone. He prides himself on being cantankerous. I always make an effort to be nice to him so that he’ll have no excuse for throwing his food on the belt, insulting us, etc. I’m a young woman, and I wear a LGBT-rainbow bracelet to work.)

    Me: *while ringing up items* “Good morning, sir. How are you today?”

    Customer: “You’re nice to me. Most people aren’t, you know.”

    Me: “Well, you served our country. That seems a pretty good reason to be nice to you. Alrighty, sir, your total today is $13.95.”

    Customer: “Good. I’ve got enough left over to take you out to lunch.”

    Me: “You’ll have to check with my girlfriend on that.”

    Customer: *as he pulls out money* “Are you lookin’? Don’t look!”

    (This is a regular thing with him. I just smile and look away, holding out my hand for the money. My bracelet is in plain sight.)

    Customer: “I don’t like a suspicious woman!”

    Me: *deliberately, but lightly* “Neither does my girlfriend. Good thing I’ve been faithful to her the whole two years we’ve been together.”

    (Customer finishes handing me the money.  I ring him up, then give him the change and the receipt. My bagger is stifling laughter.)

    Customer: “You know I’m only gonna get worse if you let me.”

    Me: “I’ll let my girlfriend know, but I think you’re pretty harmless.”

    Customer: “And I think you’re pretty, especially when you smile.”

    Me: “Thank you. I’ll have to tell my girlfriend that! You have a good day, sir.”

    Customer: “Don’t tell me what to do!” *grins and scooters off*

    Bagger: “I don’t think he gets it.”

    Me: “He treated me exactly the same as he would if I’d mentioned a boyfriend. Who knows, maybe he’s an LGBT ally!”

    Not Skirting Around The Issue

    | Lake George, NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Spouses & Partners

    (An older customer, maybe in his 50s, walks in to my female clothing store.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Don’t worry. I’m not a cross-dresser or anything. I’m just looking for my wife”

    (He says the first half in a very derogatory tone of voice.)

    Me: *smiles sweetly* “Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you’d look great in a skirt!”

    (The customer glares at me and leaves!)

    The Sad (Pro)State Of Service

    | Adelaide, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a waitress in a small and very busy beach side cafe which attracts a somewhat pretentious crowd.)

    New Colleague: “I’m not sure what that man at table one wanted. He was mumbling a lot.”

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll ask.”

    Customer: “Oi, you! Can I get the bill?!” *does ticking bill sign in air*

    Me: “When you’re ready, sir, just come to the front and we can sort it out up there.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know that but I want the bill here.”

    Me: *grits teeth* “… Sure.”

    (I bring the customer his bill. The customer’s wife waves me aside as her husband exits with a weird waddle in his step.)

    Wife: “Don’t worry, dear. No man is pleasant to be around after a prostate exam.”

    Comic: A Heady Proposition

    | Pennsylvnia, USA | Comics, Extra Stupid, Spouses & Partners, Top

    Timeshare Beware

    | HI, USA | Bad Behavior, Spouses & Partners, Tourists/Travel

    (My wife and I are forced to sit in a timeshare presentation as part of our reduced cost stay at a resort. We had already decided it would be crazy for us to buy a timeshare as we have not yet even bought our own house.)

    Salesman: “So, can you tell us your personal priorities?”

    (My wife, who is an Ivy-League educated lawyer who works in not-for-profit human rights law, speaks up.)

    My Wife: “Money… Power! RESPECT!”

    (The salesman looks surprised while I turn to my wife:)

    Me: “Well, I guess I didn’t know we had such different priorities… for me it i about the little things… blunts, bling, and b****es!”

    (They really hated us.)

    Page 3/1812345...Last