Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,799 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Spouses & Partners

    Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

    Carrying A Lot Of Baggage

    | Kirkland, WA, US | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

    Me: “What kind of bag would you like?”

    Customer: *without hesitation* “A hot blonde with blue eyes, 6 feet tall, smart, and successful.”

    Me: “Me and you both, buddy. But you’re in luck, as it just so happens our bags are tan and blue. Will that be okay?”

    Customer: “That’s fine. It’s better than what I have back at home.”

    Models Are Always Catty

    | Washington, D.C., USA | Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners

    (A couple is holding at a kitten and waiting in line at a closed register.)

    Me: “Hi, would you like to buy this cat?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if I could get this in a different color?”

    Me: “Well, we have many different colors of kittens. If you’ll come with me I can show you some others we have.”

    Customer: “Well, I mean I want this model kitten, but in a different color.”

    Me: “Well, kittens don’t really work that way. They have all different fur patterns and colors.”

    Customer: “Yes. I want this fur pattern but a different color!”

    Customer’s husband: “Sweetie, I think she’s trying to say that the kittens will look different no matter what.”

    Customer: “If she wanted to sell me something, she would look for the right model kitten! This is terrible service! How dare they! Honey, we’re going to a different pet store!”

    Till Password Reset Do Us Part

    | Glasgow, UK | Spouses & Partners, Technology

    Me: “Okay, all I need now is the security password you gave us when you opened your account.”

    Customer: “No idea.”

    Me: *seeing the password is a girl’s name* “Most people choose something or someone familiar…”

    Customer: “Lisa? Scott? Elizabeth? Rusty? Oh! Is it my mother’s maiden name?”

    Me: “No, so I’m just going to check if you’ve left yourself a hint but it takes a second.”

    Customer: “Well there’s just no point in you checking it has to be one of those names. I never ever use anything else. If I did, I don’t know it. I must have set this years ago. How am I supposed to remember that?”

    Me: “Are you sure you don’t one more try? Your hint is ‘wife’.”

    Customer: “Emma! Don’t tell her I forgot that!”

    Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Pink

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Spouses & Partners

    (I get a call from a client about a wedding package I am designing.)

    Me: “Hello! Have you finalized your color scheme?”

    Client: “Well no.” *begins sobbing* “We had a fight, and I called off the wedding. I don’t need the invitations.”

    Me: “Ah. I’m very sorry to hear this, ma’am. I’ll waive my fees. Don’t worry about paying me.”

    Client: “No, I’ll pay for your work. I was wondering if you could change the text, though.”

    Me: “To what?”

    Client: “It has to say ‘You’re Invited To [Ex-Fiance's] Funeral’. And I’m thinking a hideously bright pink.”

    Unloading Marital Baggage

    | Prospect, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Spouses & Partners

    (A man comes up to the register with a full shopping cart.)

    Me: “Paper or plastic?”

    Customer: “I’d like double bagged paper, and I’d like you to make each bag as heavy as possible.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (After I manage to get all of his groceries into three very heavy bags and bring them out to his car.)

    Customer: “In case you’re wondering, I just had a fight with my wife and it’s my turn to pick up the groceries.”

    Me: “Uh-huh.”

    Customer: “It’s also her turn to unload the car.”

    Page 17/18First...1415161718