Category: School

Food For Thor-t

| Tampa, FL, USA | Food & Drink, History, School, Top

(My awesome Viking History professor often has Middle Ages-reenactors who attend his class just to listen to him teach. On one occasion, he and five students decide to go to the ‘Steak and Ale’, a restaurant, in armor and long medieval gowns. The server is quite surprised at how they are dressed, and isn’t quite sure how to deal with them.)

Server: “Uh… what would you like to eat?”

(One of the guys in full plate armor takes his armored fist, and slams it down onto the table and shouts.)

Armored Guy: “MEAT!”

(The server jumps.)

Server: *nervously* “H-how do you want it?”

(The armored guy slams his fist down on the table again, and shouts.)

Armored Guy: “COOKED!”

(According to my professor, they somehow avoided getting thrown out of the restaurant!)

Reminder: Check Out Not Always Learning!

Not Always Learning | Announcements, School

Hey everyone! Just a reminder to check out our latest site:
Not Always Learning!

One of our most frequently requested websites, Not Always Learning features true, reader-submitted stories of funny & interesting students, teachers, parents, and staff!

We’ve all dealt with people in school-related situations who are Not Always Learning, so we invite you to visit Not Always Learning today and share your school story!

The History Of Photography Doesn’t Quite Click

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, History, School

(I have a paid internship at a small, obscure history museum and battlefield. This site is so unknown that most locals don’t even know what war was fought here. A visitor comes in with her bored-looking teenage daughter.)

Visitor: “Hi! My daughter’s history teacher gave her an assignment to come to a local historical site, and we thought we’d come here!”

Me: “Great! It’ll be $5 a piece.”

Visitor: “So, this is a Civil War battlefield, right?”

Me: “Actually this battlefield was a part of Pontiac’s Rebellion, a Native American uprising that occurred in 1763, after the French and Indian War. If you follow me, I’ll take you back to our 13-minute video about the battle, and Pontiac’s Rebellion. It’s a great synopsis of the history surrounding the museum.”

Visitor: “Wonderful!”

(Our theater area is located at the very back of the exhibit, in an area that has blown-up photos of our annual battle re-enactments. I turn the video on.)

Me: “I will be happy to answer any questions at the end of the video.”

(At the end of the video, the visitor starts pointing at the re-enactment photos on the walls.)

Visitor: “So, these photos are from the actual battle?”

(The visitor’s daughter starts laughing.)

Me: “These are actually from our annual battle re-enactment held every summer.”

Visitor: “Where are the photos from the battle?”

Me: “Photography would not be invented for about another 80 years or so. Actually the first American war with any photographs was the American Civil War.”

Visitor: “Oh. When was the Civil War?”

Me: “1861-1865.”

Visitor: “When was this [battlefield’s] war?”

Me: “1763.”

Visitor: “So, what war was this?”

Me: “The French and Indian War.”

Visitor: “So, how long was this war before the Civil War?”

Me: *facepalm*

Snob-less Not Jobless

| Austin, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Politics, School, Top

(I’ve just taken an order from a well-dressed woman and her daughter, who is wearing a uniform from a private school. The woman is berating her daughter about her grades.)

Woman: “If your grades don’t improve, you won’t get into college. You’ll end up in some dead-end job like her.”

(The woman gestures towards me.)

Me: “Actually, I’m a college graduate.”

Woman: “Yes, well I mean a real college.”

Me: “I graduated from the University of Texas with two degrees, and my teacher’s certification.”

Woman: “You evidently didn’t do too well if you wound up here now, did you?”

Me: “I wound up here after our state legislature cut funding for public education. My husband also holds a Master’s in engineering, but has been laid off for similar reasons. We’ve taken these jobs to survive so we wouldn’t have to depend on public assistance.”

(I hand them their drinks.)

Me: “Never judge a book by its cover.”

(The woman goes over to the condiment bar without another word, but her daughter smiles and fist-bumps me.)

No Proof In Purchase

| Wiltshire, England, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, School

(We have a school prom in our function room. Whenever we have a prom, we run a ‘dry’ bar. We will not serve the students at the main bar. One of the teachers approaches the bar and slams a bottle down on the counter.)

Teacher: “I just took this from one of my students. He is 16!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

Teacher: “This is a disgrace; you’ve broken the law. Who served him! Was it you?”

Me: “It’s a—”

Teacher: “I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I understand why you’re upset, but—”

Teacher: “We won’t have another prom here! Selling alcohol to kids—”

Me: “It’s a non alcoholic beer. There is no alcohol behind the bar tonight and no one here would serve anyone underage anyway.”

Teacher: “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I’d better give this back to him.”

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