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    Category: School

    No Appointment, No Point

    | New Jersey, USA | Bizarre, School

    Customer: “I would like to cancel my appointment for a tutor at 1:30.”

    Me: “You are not booked for 1:30.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I make a appointment for 1:30 then?”

    Me: “Didn’t you just say you want to cancel it?”

    Customer: “Don’t I need to have a appointment first to cancel it?”

    Freedom Of Screech

    | North Carolina, USA | Religion, School, Top

    (I’m an Admissions Officer and am working at a college fair. We are not religiously affiliated. I run into an alum.)

    Me: “Hi, is your daughter interested in [college]?”

    Alum: “I’m an alum. Class of ’83.”

    Me: “Fantastic!  I’m Class of ’04. Can I answer any questions for you?”

    Alum: “I won’t be letting my daughter look here. I have some issues with how [college] is being run. God is not happy with you, and neither am I.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you’d like, I’d be happy to take your comment back to the Vice President of-”

    Alum: “Are you aware that you let in students with liberal views and speakers with socialist leanings?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have a great deal of speakers on campus with a variety of view points.”

    Alum: “The school has gone downhill since we let in those people! So I’ve stopped giving money. You can take that back to them. You’ll no longer see my $25 a year.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as an alum myself, I’m proud to have graduated from a school that encourages both freedom of thought and speech in our students and speakers.”

    Alum: “You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you.”

    Another Tragic Hair Disaster

    | North Wales, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (The phone rings five minutes before the end of the school day.)

    Parent: *very distressed* “You’ll have to help me, please help!”

    Me: “What on earth has happened? How can I help?”

    Parent: “It’s an emergency! There’s been a disaster! You have to help me!”

    Me: “Calm down and tell me what has happened. I’ll do my best to help”.

    Parent: “I can’t get there to pick up [name of her child]. It’s an emergency!”

    Me: “Don’t worry about her, I’ll keep an eye on her here at school. She can come home with me if need be. Is there anything else can do? What has happened?”

    Parent: “It’s my hair, it’s turned out orange!”

    Goodbye Dolly

    | Indiana, USA | School

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

    Customer: “Isn’t this [town] High School?”

    Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

    Customer: “How many seats are left?”

    Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

    Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

    Completely Immersed In The Lesson

    | Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

    Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

    Mother: “ Who are you?”

    Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

    Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”


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