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    Category: School

    Freedom Of Screech

    | North Carolina, USA | Religion, School, Top

    (I’m an Admissions Officer and am working at a college fair. We are not religiously affiliated. I run into an alum.)

    Me: “Hi, is your daughter interested in [college]?”

    Alum: “I’m an alum. Class of ’83.”

    Me: “Fantastic!  I’m Class of ’04. Can I answer any questions for you?”

    Alum: “I won’t be letting my daughter look here. I have some issues with how [college] is being run. God is not happy with you, and neither am I.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you’d like, I’d be happy to take your comment back to the Vice President of-”

    Alum: “Are you aware that you let in students with liberal views and speakers with socialist leanings?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have a great deal of speakers on campus with a variety of view points.”

    Alum: “The school has gone downhill since we let in those people! So I’ve stopped giving money. You can take that back to them. You’ll no longer see my $25 a year.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as an alum myself, I’m proud to have graduated from a school that encourages both freedom of thought and speech in our students and speakers.”

    Alum: “You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you.”

    Another Tragic Hair Disaster

    | North Wales, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, School

    (The phone rings five minutes before the end of the school day.)

    Parent: *very distressed* “You’ll have to help me, please help!”

    Me: “What on earth has happened? How can I help?”

    Parent: “It’s an emergency! There’s been a disaster! You have to help me!”

    Me: “Calm down and tell me what has happened. I’ll do my best to help”.

    Parent: “I can’t get there to pick up [name of her child]. It’s an emergency!”

    Me: “Don’t worry about her, I’ll keep an eye on her here at school. She can come home with me if need be. Is there anything else can do? What has happened?”

    Parent: “It’s my hair, it’s turned out orange!”

    Goodbye Dolly

    | Indiana, USA | School

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

    Customer: “Isn’t this [town] High School?”

    Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

    Customer: “How many seats are left?”

    Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

    Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

    Completely Immersed In The Lesson

    | Frankenmuth, MI, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I teach swim lessons but my shift hadn’t started yet so I am in normal clothes and standing behind the front desk.)

    Me: “Hey guys, go ahead and get in, I’ll be in to teach in a few minutes.”

    Mother: “ Who are you?”

    Me: “Miss, your son’s swim teacher.  For the past 2 years.”

    Mother: “Oh! I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

    So Slow It Hertz

    | North Carolina, USA | School, Technology, Top

    Caller: “Hi, I think there’s a bug on your website. I can’t log into my account.”

    Me: “Okay, that may be a bug. Let me get some basic information from you. What internet browser are you using?”

    Caller: “What’s a browser?”

    Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet. Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”

    Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”

    Me: “That’s a search engine.

    Caller: “Ask.com?”

    Me: “That’s another search engine. I need to know what browser you use to get to that website.”

    Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean. I’m using Hotmail.”

    (This goes on for about 10 minutes. Eventually, we locate the bug. While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with the customer.)

    Me: “You said you’re in college? What do you study?”

    Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”


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