Category: School

Words Fail Me

| Michigan, USA | School

(A student comes in to the Registrar’s office to pick up a transcript. After discovering that she never placed an order, I tell her to place the order so that it will be ready in the afternoon. After checking the system over the course of several hours and not seeing the order, I call the student.)

Me: “Yes, I see you still have not placed your order.”

Student: “I placed it hours ago!”

Me: “Uh oh, I hope something is not wrong with our system. Did you get confirmation that the order went through?”

Student: “Yes! I still have it up right here on my screen. It says right here: ‘Transaction Failed’!”

TLDNStudy

| Massachusetts, USA | School

(I work at a university; note that it is generally considered very academically competitive.)

Student: “I think there’s a hold on my account.”

Me: “Yes, health services put a registration hold on your account because they don’t have your immunization—”

Student: “Wait, that’s a big word! I don’t know what that means!”

The Great District of Confusion

, | Bakersfield, CA | Geography, School

(I am a student working in the on campus bookstore. A customer comes in and approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a map of Washington.”

Me: “Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Do you need a map for Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

Customer: *confused* “What’s the difference, and what do you mean by D.C.?”

Me: “Well, one is a state above Oregon on the West coast, and the other—Washington, D.C.—is an area on the east coast. ‘D.C.’ stands for District of Columbia.”

Customer: “No, not in Colombia! In America!”

Me: “Ma’am, Washington, D.C. is in America. That is what it is called.”

Customer: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. I just need a map of Washington for my political science class.”

Me: “Ah, then I’ll get you a map of Washington, D.C.”

Customer: “I think you’re wrong. I am going to tell my professor you guys are giving out maps of Colombia!” *walks away looking very annoyed*

Related:
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

Wherever Knowledge Is Distributed

| Nova Scotia, Canada | School

Me: “Can I help you?”

Student: “I can’t find my professor’s office.”

Me: “Do you have an office number?”

Student: “Yeah. It’s 412.”

Me: “Well, that’s just down the hallway.”

Student: “I tried. That’s not his office.”

Me: “Is he a political science professor or a modern languages professor?

Student: “Neither. Geology.”

Me: “Are you sure he’s in this building?”

Student: “No.”

Me: “What building is he in?”

Student: “I don’t know.”

Me: “There are lots of buildings on campus.”

Student: “I know.”

Me: “What made you think it was this one?”

Student: “I don’t know…”

Financially Bankrupt, Circumstantially Bereft, And Substantially Boneheaded

| South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, School

(I work for the financial aid department at a local tech school. A student comes in and asks about his student loans.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check my student loans request.”

Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

Student: “I ain’t got one.”

Me: “Can I have your last and first name?”

Student: “Yeah.”

(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “Sir, may I get your last and first name?”

Student: *gives name*

(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

Student: *shocked* “Oh, s***, really?”

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