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    Category: School

    A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

    | France | School

    (I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

    Me: “What is your favorite color?”

    5 year-old: “Stool.”

    Me: “Let’s try that again…”

    Obviously, They Prefer Fartissimo

    , | Huntington Beach, CA, USA | School

    (In music, “pianissimo” means “very quiet”. It is abbreviated as “PP” on sheet music and scores. Currently, I am teaching a student who always pounds the keys, no matter what dynamic level is indicated.)

    Student: “Oh no! This has PP!”

    Me: “Yep, it’s a quiet piece.”

    Student: “I hate PP! It’s too hard to do. I can’t do PP!”

    Me: “Sounds like a personal problem to me, buddy…”

    The Klass Of 2015

    | England, UK | School

    (I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

    Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

    Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

    Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

    Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

    Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof, Part 2

    , | California, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)

    Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”

    Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”

    Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”

    Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”

    Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

    Related:
    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

    Student: “Okay, thanks.”

    (About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

    Me: “Is there something wrong?”

    Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

    Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

    Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”

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