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    Category: School

    Due Tonight Vs. Do Tonight

    | Illinois, USA | School

    (I’m a librarian in a university library. It’s almost 5 PM and I’m getting ready to go home.)

    Student: “Hi, I have a research paper and I don’t know how to find sources for it.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

    Student: “It’s [topic].”

    Me: “That one might be tough to find a lot of information on. When is the paper due?”

    Student: “Midnight.”

    Somebody Failed Listening 101

    | North Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, School

    (While waiting for his to-go food to arrive, a customer is making small talk with me about college.)

    Customer: “So, what are you studying in school?”

    Me: “Psychology, sir.”

    Customer: “Why? That’s a stupid profession. You won’t go anywhere with that! All you’re doing is wasting Daddy’s money!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, I am pay—”

    Customer: “My daughter studied Psychology! She wasted all my money!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m paying for my own college.”

    Customer: “Dads always pay for college!”

    Me: “Mine isn’t. I live alone and pay for my own schooling.”

    Customer: “Whatever. Dads always pay!”

    Words Fail Me

    | Michigan, USA | School

    (A student comes in to the Registrar’s office to pick up a transcript. After discovering that she never placed an order, I tell her to place the order so that it will be ready in the afternoon. After checking the system over the course of several hours and not seeing the order, I call the student.)

    Me: “Yes, I see you still have not placed your order.”

    Student: “I placed it hours ago!”

    Me: “Uh oh, I hope something is not wrong with our system. Did you get confirmation that the order went through?”

    Student: “Yes! I still have it up right here on my screen. It says right here: ‘Transaction Failed’!”

    TLDNStudy

    | Massachusetts, USA | School

    (I work at a university; note that it is generally considered very academically competitive.)

    Student: “I think there’s a hold on my account.”

    Me: “Yes, health services put a registration hold on your account because they don’t have your immunization—”

    Student: “Wait, that’s a big word! I don’t know what that means!”

    The Great District of Confusion

    , | Bakersfield, CA | Geography, School

    (I am a student working in the on campus bookstore. A customer comes in and approaches me.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need a map of Washington.”

    Me: “Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Do you need a map for Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

    Customer: *confused* “What’s the difference, and what do you mean by D.C.?”

    Me: “Well, one is a state above Oregon on the West coast, and the other—Washington, D.C.—is an area on the east coast. ‘D.C.’ stands for District of Columbia.”

    Customer: “No, not in Colombia! In America!”

    Me: “Ma’am, Washington, D.C. is in America. That is what it is called.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. I just need a map of Washington for my political science class.”

    Me: “Ah, then I’ll get you a map of Washington, D.C.”

    Customer: “I think you’re wrong. I am going to tell my professor you guys are giving out maps of Colombia!” *walks away looking very annoyed*

    Related:
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance


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