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    Category: School

    Social Notworking

    , | Arizona, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, School

    Me: “Good morning! ASU Information.”

    Caller: “Umm, yeah, hi. Where am I?”

    Me: “You have reached the ASU information desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “No. I mean, like, where am I?”

    Me: “Could you be more specific please?”

    Caller: “Dude, I don’t know where I am. Can you find me?”

    Me: “Are there people near you?”

    Caller: “Um, yeah.”

    Me: “Do any of them know where you are?”

    Caller: “How do I find that out?”

    Me: “Walk up to one of them, smile, and ask them if they know where you are.”

    Caller: “Okay, thanks!” *fumbling around, muffled talking, phone beeping* “You are so awesome; it worked! Thanks!”

    Someone Has Major Issues

    | New York City, NY, USA | School

    (I’m a peer advisor at my college, which includes figuring out what the student is looking for to best service them before we send them to an advisor. This conversation happens about 4-5 times a month.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Student: “I want to talk to an advisor.”

    Me: “Okay, about general education requirements or major requirements?”

    Student: “Major requirements.”

    Me: “Okay, for that you actually have to go to the major department and meet with an advisor there. We can only cover general education requirements here.”

    Student: “But I want to speak to an advisor.”

    Me: “Yeah, but for that you have to speak to someone in that department.”

    Student: “Okay. Well, where is it?”

    Me: “The department?”

    Student: “That’s what I said.”

    Me: “Well, what’s your major?”

    Student: “Can I please just speak to an advisor?”

    Me: “Well, I can’t help you figure out where that is until you tell me what your major is.”

    Student: “I just want to talk to someone! Can’t I just see someone here?”

    Me: “Well, like I said, we can only advise you on your general education requirements, so—”

    Student: “Yes! That’s what I want to talk to someone about!”

    Me: “Okay, let me sign you in. Someone will be with you in just a bit.”

    (The student signs in and huffs off to a seat to wait. A coworker of mine takes the student after I’ve warned him about what happened. Less than a minute later, I see the student stomping out of our office. My coworker comes back to the front desk.)

    Me: “Major requirements?”

    Coworker: “Yup.”

    Not A Shred Of Intelligence

    , | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

    Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

    Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

    (My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

    Me: “What happened?!”

    Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

    Not Going To Qualify

    | Arizona, USA | School

    Student: “I’d like to know where your study guides are. I’m going to take a test.”

    Me: “Sure, which one?”

    Student: “The Mensa test. I need to know where your Mensa test study guides are.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. They don’t make those.”

    Student: “So, will you be getting some in soon?”

    Due Tonight Vs. Do Tonight

    | Illinois, USA | School

    (I’m a librarian in a university library. It’s almost 5 PM and I’m getting ready to go home.)

    Student: “Hi, I have a research paper and I don’t know how to find sources for it.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

    Student: “It’s [topic].”

    Me: “That one might be tough to find a lot of information on. When is the paper due?”

    Student: “Midnight.”


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