November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: School

It’s Going To Be An Interesting Knight

| Austin, TX, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, School

(Back in 1997, I am working at a large, national video rental chain. A high school aged boy, roughly 16 years old, walks up to the counter.)

Boy: “Can you help me find a movie?”

Me: “Probably, do you know the title?”

Boy: “First Knight.”

(The requested film is about the love triangle between King Arthur, Lady Guinevere, and Sir Lancelot. Action aside, it wasn’t normally requested by men, especially high-school aged. Thinking this strange, I still take him to the appropriate section, find the tape in stock, and hand it to him.)

Boy: “Thanks, man! You’ve saved my life.”

(Back at the counter he ends up coming through my line.)

Boy: “Thanks again, man. You’ve really saved me some time.”

Me: *as I hand him his change* “What do you mean?”

Boy: “Oh, we have to read this for school, and I forgot all about it.”

Me: “You have to read THIS for school?!”

Boy: *smiling as he goes out the door* “Yep, and I can’t stand Shakespeare.”

(As he walks out the door my coworker and I break down laughing, realizing that he was actually looking for “Twelfth Night.”)

Coworker: “Boy, is his teacher in for a treat!”

Growing Up Dorm-al

| USA | School

(I work in a very popular cookie store located on a college campus. Our regular customers include a couple of faculty members who live with their two small children in a dorm on the campus. They host events for the building’s residents as well as teaching classes. One day, the woman comes in with her young son.)

Me: “All right, here’s your total and it’s just going to ask you about tip and receipt.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

Child: “How old do you have to be to work here?”

Manager: “Well, most of the employees are college students, so they’re all older than 18.”

Child: “But I’m a college student! I live in a dorm with my parents and sister!”

Cracked The Da Vinci Code

| MD, USA | Books & Reading, School

(This happens around the time many teenagers are getting books for their summer reading. Today, a young man and his mother came in looking for Dan Brown’s Inferno. My coworker is the one who helps them. I overhear this.)

Mother: “Oh, yes, my son really needs this book. Not only does he have to read the whole thing, but he also has to write a paper on it, and draw a scene from it. They’re dedicating a lot of time on this.”

(I find this odd considering Dan Brown books are not the usual summer reading requirements, but don’t think nothing further of it until the two leave with the book.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wait, he has to write a paper on the Inferno?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Um… is he sure it’s supposed to be Dan Brown’s Inferno, and not DANTE’S Inferno?”

Coworker: “OH, MY GOD! That makes a lot more sense! I don’t know…”

(Nobody before or since has ever requested Dan Brown’s Inferno for summer reading.)

Getting An Icy Reception

| Columbia, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I am a residential advisor in a dormitory at my university. The dorm that I work at also has a dining hall attached to it. We recently had a lot of snow so as RAs we have to shovel during the late hours. We also have a late night dining offering that closes at 1 am. But, due to the weather it, closes at 11 pm.)

Student: *student tries to open locked door into building and notices me shoveling*  “Hey, could you let us in?”

Me: “Are you trying to get into the dining hall?”

Student: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, they actually closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me; I know it is open until 1!”

Me: “Due to the weather it closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me. JUST LET US IN!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let people who don’t live here into the dorm area.”

Student: “Just this one time you can. I just want to see if the dining hall is open.”

Me: *a little irritated because it is snowing and it’s 12 am* “CLEARLY the lights are off in the dining hall, meaning that it is CLOSED. I CANNOT let you in.”

Student: *walking away with an attitude* “Ugh, I still don’t believe you.”

A Probing Set Of Questions

, | Ithaca, NY, USA | Bizarre, School

(Our college has students that work with the officers of public safety to help patrol the college and dorms at night. Other students like to tease us to varying degrees. This conversation takes place with a student who is tipsy but still being rather polite.)

Student: “What if I took off running right now?”

Me: *jokingly* “That’s what the flashlight is for.”

Student: “What if you miss?”

Me: “That’s what the radio is for.”

Student: “What if you miss?”

Me: “That’s what the probie is for.” *look at my partner* “Go fetch.”

Page 1/2112345...Last