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    Category: Rude & Risque

    For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

    A Smooth Transaction

    | Chesterfield, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (Around 2 a.m, a man comes in and is searching up and down the aisle I am stocking.)

    Me: "Hello sir, can I help you find anything?"

    Customer: "No, it’s much too embarrassing to ask for."

    Me: "Okay, well let me know."

    (He walks away and continues searching. Five minutes later he’s back.)

    Customer: "I’ve decided I don’t care how embarrassing it is."

    Me: "Okay."

    Customer: "Where’s the lube!?"

    A Wee Bit Of A Problem

    | Texas USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Me: "Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I help you?"”

    Caller: "I would like to know where people go to buy those cups."

    Me: What kind of cups are you looking for, sir?"

    Caller: "Sample cups."

    Me: "Sample cups? Do you mean like for a urine sample?"

    Caller: "Yeah! I need quite a few."

    Me: "I guess you could get them at a medical supply company. Have you tried that?"

    Caller: "Oh boy! Thank you, lady! You have helped me so much! See, I am looking for work and most places require a urine test. I want to have my samples all ready to go!"

    That’s What He Thought

    | London, UK | Rude & Risque

    (A young male customer is paying by card.)

    Me: "We’re having problems with our machine at the moment, so when you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle."

    Customer: *mumbles* "That’s what she said."

    Me: *I laugh*

    Customer: "Oh God, did I say it out loud again?!"

    When Sizes Are XXX

    | Boston, MA, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am assisting a man holding a small and medium shirt.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m just thinking about S and M.”

    Me: “I’ll leave you to that, then.”

    Retired & Extremely Dangerous

    | Georgia, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

    Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

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