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    Category: Rude & Risque

    For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

    Some Films Are Just Sick

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Wow, I haven’t been to this theater since that movie Sex in the Time of Gonorrhea!”

    Me: “Um, what?”

    Customer: “Oops! I mean Love! Love in the Time of Gonorrhea“.

    Customer’s Friend: “I think you mean Love in the Time of Cholera.”

    Customer: “Isn’t that what I said?”

    Tea Drag

    | Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

    Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

    Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

    Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

    Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

    Deli-cate Situation

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Hello, this is–”

    Caller: “Baby, what are you doing? Want to come over later?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: *laughs* “You heard me, baby.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you may have the wrong number. This is a deli.”

    Caller: “Woah, are you serious?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “It’s okay.”

    Caller: “So…do you want to come over?

    Accountants And Their Blue Tape

    | Leicester, UK | Rude & Risque, Technology

    (A client calls us requesting we email him a scan of a document. We promptly send this over to him and he calls back almost immediately.)

    Client: “This scan you have sent me only has one page of the document and the rest of it is pornography!”

    Me: “I’m sorry? There is certainly no chance that this contains any pornography. It looks perfectly fine from our end.

    Client: “But there is. I am looking at it right now!”

    Me: “Which button are you clicking?  The one that says ‘Next Page’ or ‘Next Document’?”

    Client: “Why does that matter?”

    Me: “Well if you are clicking Next Document, you are currently looking at all of the pornography that you have recently been viewing on your computer.”

    Client: “F***!” *hangs up*

    Fourth Graders Going On Forty

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Rude & Risque

    (I work for a custom blinds store and a couple is having their whole house done. We’re going over everything and placing the order.)

    Me: “These windows will have an inside mount.”

    Husband: “A what?”

    Me: “Inside mount.”

    Husband: “Oh, hehe.”

    Me: “So, on this one that installer has recommended a reverse mount.”

    Husband: “Haha!”

    Wife: “Shhhh!”

    Husband: “How do you people keep a straight face?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? What do you mean?”

    Husband: “I had no idea that blinds were so sexual!”

    Me: “Oh, um…. I guess I never thought of it like that.”

    Wife, to husband: “You’re such a child!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic


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