For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.
(Around 2 a.m, a man comes in and is searching up and down the aisle I am stocking.)
Me: "Hello sir, can I help you find anything?"
Customer: "No, it’s much too embarrassing to ask for."
Me: "Okay, well let me know."
(He walks away and continues searching. Five minutes later he’s back.)
Customer: "I’ve decided I don’t care how embarrassing it is."
Customer: "Where’s the lube!?"
Me: "Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I help you?"”
Caller: "I would like to know where people go to buy those cups."
Me: What kind of cups are you looking for, sir?"
Caller: "Sample cups."
Me: "Sample cups? Do you mean like for a urine sample?"
Caller: "Yeah! I need quite a few."
Me: "I guess you could get them at a medical supply company. Have you tried that?"
Caller: "Oh boy! Thank you, lady! You have helped me so much! See, I am looking for work and most places require a urine test. I want to have my samples all ready to go!"
(A young male customer is paying by card.)
Me: "We’re having problems with our machine at the moment, so when you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle."
Customer: *mumbles* "That’s what she said."
Me: *I laugh*
Customer: "Oh God, did I say it out loud again?!"
(I am assisting a man holding a small and medium shirt.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m just thinking about S and M.”
Me: “I’ll leave you to that, then.”
Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”
Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”
Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”
Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”