For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.
(A young male customer is paying by card.)
Me: "We’re having problems with our machine at the moment, so when you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle."
Customer: *mumbles* "That’s what she said."
Me: *I laugh*
Customer: "Oh God, did I say it out loud again?!"
(I am assisting a man holding a small and medium shirt.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m just thinking about S and M.”
Me: “I’ll leave you to that, then.”
Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”
Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”
Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”
Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”
(I work in the beauty department and a customer comes up to me).
Customer: “I need a face wash for my son that will get rid of the semen on his face.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Are you deaf? He is too oily!”
Me: “You mean sebum?”
(The customer turns the brightest shade of red and runs out the store.)
Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”
Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”
Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”
Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”