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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Easter Bunny Goes North

    | NC, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

    (I’m working as an Easter Bunny at a local mall. A little girl walks in and stands in front of me. I wave to her.)

    Girl: “Hi, Easter Bunny.”

    (I wave again; Easter Bunnies don’t talk.)

    Girl’s Mom: “Be sure to tell him what you want him to bring you!”

    Girl: “Oh yeah!”

    (There’s a pause. I raise my arms like I’m shrugging.)

    Girl: “Um… I want you to be sure to bring me lots of toys for Christmas…”

    Judging A Book By Its Fabulous Cover

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I am standing in the waiting area near the hostess station. A man who is gay is requesting a table. A primly dressed woman walks in.)

    Woman: “Ugh, how horrid! You should be ashamed of yourself dressing like one of those sinful f***! People will get the wrong idea about you.”

    (The man keeps his calm like he’s used to this.)

    Man: “Actually, ma’am, it wouldn’t be a wrong idea as I am—in fact—gay.”

    Woman: “Have you no shame at all!? You sound proud of it! You should be more like this young man.”

    (She gestures to me.)

    Woman: “He obviously is a proper, god-fearing individual.”

    Me: “I’m honored. You really believe he should be like me?”

    Woman: “Of course, you obviously have your priorities straight.”

    (I walk over to the man and extended a hand for a handshake. He takes it.)

    Me: “Well, you heard her…”

    (I lean in and give him a quick peck on the lips.)

    Me: “Never change sweetie.”

    (The other three people in the waiting area break out laughing and the woman goes beet.)

    Woman: “Well, I never!…”

    (She stomps out. The man and I end up sharing a table for dinner. We’re now good friends and we laugh about that meeting a lot.)

    Over The Edge Of Reason

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

    Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

    Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

    (One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

    Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

    (We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

    Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

    (The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)

    Some Customers Are A Blessing

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Religion

    (I am a cashier, helping a customer. She sneezes.)

    Me: “Bless you!”

    Customer: “Are you a priest?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Are you a priest?”

    Me: “Um… no. I am a cashier at the moment.”

    Customer: “Well, then you have no right to bless me!”

    Me: “Okay… my apologies?”

    Not Low Key About The Hokey

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Religion

    (I’m a Muslim female barista. Two young women in headscarves come in. They get in line. Most people are surprised to learn of my faith, as I am mixed race and look white, and don’t wear a headscarf by personal choice.. A man whispers to his wife, and then comes up to me while I’m handing out drinks to customers.)

    Man: “Excuse me, could you please remove those two from the shop?”

    Me: “Who?”

    Man: “Those two in the scarves.”

    Me: “Uh, why?”

    Man: “They’re offending me.”

    Me: “How?”

    Man: *raising voice* “How dare they throw their satanic religion in our good Christian faces?!”

    (He is wearing a rather large cross around his neck.)

    Man: *raises his voice to a yell* “Be gone from his earth, devil spawn!”

    Me: “Dude, look, quit harassing them.”

    Man: “Harassing them?! They’re harassing me!”

    (Fed up, I come out from behind the counter to speak to the man.)

    Me: “Look, dude, be quiet or leave now.”

    Man: “Why should I, son of the great lord, be forced to tolerate their hokey religion?!”

    Me: “That’s my ‘hokey religion’ you’re messing with, and I’m not going to take your crap. Out. Now.

    Man: “You’re devil spawn too?!” *crosses himself* “SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF GOD, THROW DOWN YOUR COFFEE! A SINNER HAS TOUCHED IT!”

    (The shop is literally silent, and everyone is staring at him. My manager walks up behind him. He is Sikh, and is wearing a turban. He taps the man on the shoulder and speaks in a deadpan voice.)

    Manager: *deadpans, taps man on the shoulder* “Now what seems to be the problem here?”

    (As soon as he sees my manager, the customer literally screams and runs out. His wife runs after him, stopping at the door to cross herself. I go back behind the counter. The two Muslim women approach me.)

    Muslim Woman #1: “Thanks for that.”

    Me: “Absolutely no problem. I’ve had that done to me too, when I’m wearing the scarf.”

    Muslim Woman #2: “Do you get lunatics in here like that often?”

    Me: “You have no idea.”


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