Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Doesn’t Seem To Get The Concept(ion)

    | Denison, TX, USA | Health & Body, Religion

    (I do the marketing and advertising for an OB/GYN. I overhear an interesting exchange.)

    Doctor: “You’re pregnant and you have an STD. You must have had some kind of sex to get pregnant.”

    Patient: “Well, Mary didn’t!”

    Not Acting Their Sunday Best

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work in a shop that exclusively sells Christian books, music, and church supplies. The store is, strangely, open on Sundays.)

    Me: “All set? Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “I did. Thank you.”

    (She places a large stack of items on the counter. I’m halfway through ringing them up when she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re open on Sundays.”

    Me: “The owner believes it’s convenient for customers who can’t make it during the week, so it’s no hassle.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be open! This is the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “We do have reduced hours on Sundays so the employees can attend church. I came straight to work from a service at [local church] this morning.”

    Customer: “No! You should be closed today in honor of the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if we were closed today, how would you get these things you’re buying right now?”

    (The customer blinks in surprise and stares at her purchases. Then she scowls and thrusts a credit card at me.)

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter! You should be closed on Sundays! Now do your job and ring me up!”

    Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

    Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

    Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

    Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

    Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

    Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

    Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

    Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

    (She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

    A Time For Giving (A Piece Of Your Mind)

    | Newark, DE, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’ve gone to pick up a few things. I am in the line for the register when I hear someone yelling. Since I’m a curious person and the store isn’t very busy, I leave with my cart to see what’s going on. I soon see a woman in her 30s lecturing a boy in his teens who works in the store.)

    Customer: “People like you disgust me! Not everyone is Christian! You shouldn’t tell people to celebrate something from a faith they don’t believe in! F*** you and your ‘Merry Christmas!’ religious erasure!”

    (The employee is clearly overwhelmed. He’s been very sweet in helping me in the past so, against my better judgment, I step in.)

    Me: “Even if you aren’t Christian, it’s still nice to hear that someone wants you to have a good holiday. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man, not erasure. If you even bothered to talk to this guy for more than a few seconds you’d know how nice he is. He just wants you to have a good holiday season, lady.”

    Customer: “You, too! You’re just as rude and disgusting as this brat. I bet you and him go around thumping gays with bibles to turn them straight! I’m going to report the both of you!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m agnostic. That means I accept the fact that we don’t know for sure if there is a God or not. As such, I should just be the best person I can be because it’s the right thing to do. I love Christmas time. It’s full of love for everyone and it’s a time for family and friends to all come together. It’s full of people doing good for each other. If you don’t like people wishing you a good holiday just because of the religion that celebrates the holiday, you’re just as bigoted as the people who really do want erasure. Also, I’m bi. So I wouldn’t go around ‘thumping’ anyone for their sexuality.”

    (The customer sputters for a minute before storming off with her cart. The employee looks at me after a few seconds to calm himself down.)

    Employee: “I only said it because she said she was planning Christmas dinner…”

    The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m standing behind a nice old lady who is checking out at the grocery store.)

    Lady: “You look like you both need a smile. This is for you!”

    (She hands the cashier a few pieces of Christmas themed candy, and gives one to me.)

    Cashier: “Oh, thank you! Happy Holidays!”

    Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I know you want to.”

    Cashier: “Actually, I’m Jewish—”

    Lady: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Oh, yes! Feliz Navidad to you!”

    (The cashier and I both just smiled, because regardless of what you call it, she still had the best seasonal spirit!)

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