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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    We Wish You A Merry Saturnalia

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | History, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I worked in a local retail store while in high school and college. A week before Halloween, I notice a regular customer riding in one of our electric carts, staring at the Halloween costumes and props. She is there for some time. I decide to ask if she needs help.)

    Customer: “St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle—”

    (As a Catholic, I recognize she is praying.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Only if you can replace all this evil with Christmas stuff.”

    Me: “Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. One more week!”

    (The customer then goes into a rant about what Halloween means to Wiccans and pagans. Then she gives a thorough lesson in Tartarus and other mythologies. She invites me to help her host a Bible study for her good Christian neighbors, which is her alternative to dressing up and ‘worshipping demons.’ By this time, my manager thinks I’m just goofing around and is coming towards me to say something. The customer stands up, grabs my arm and raises it into the air while using her other arm to throw costumes, props, and wigs out into the aisle. My manager seems to understand what is happening. After getting her to stop protesting, he turns to me.)

    Manager: “Thank you for not telling her about the origins of gift giving on Christmas.”

    Showing Devilish Customers How It’s Done

    | AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Religion, Top

    (A particularly angry customer comes through my line. Despite my best and calmest efforts to help, she begins to yell at me in front of the whole line. Among other things, she calls me names, says I don’t deserve to be alive, and then tries to punch me on the top of my head. I have to spend a full twenty minutes in the break room to try and calm down. One of my coworkers has witnessed the whole thing. The very next day, the customer returns, acting like nothing has happened. My coworker suddenly stands in front of customer.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Coworker: “Because yesterday you yelled at and assaulted one of my coworkers until she cried. I believe that’s grounds for a ban from the store. Please get out.”

    Customer: *growing angry* “You can’t do that, you brat!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, three minutes’ worth of security footage and several witnesses says I CAN do that. You will not be welcome here any longer. Leave.”

    Customer: “You can just go to H***, you—”

    Coworker: “I went there once. Now I RULE it. Now GET OUT OF OUR STORE.”

    (By this time three of the managers have arrived to back him up and escort the customer out. She screamed for a little while longer but eventually left, and never came back!)

    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a store as the main cashier.)

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66. Wow, you’re one unlucky person.”

    Customer: “$6.66!? I REFUSE TO PAY! YOU’RE A DEVIL! YOU PUT A CURSE ON ME. HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME!” *storms out of the store yelling prayers*

    Related:
    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    Hellish Customers

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Religion

    (While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)

    Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”

    Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”

    Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”

    Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    (The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)

    Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”

    Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”

    (Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)

    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    | RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss; could you help me?”

    Me: “Sure, what do you need?”

    Customer: “Could you change the price on this syrup? The unit price is $6.66, and I don’t want to buy the devil’s syrup.”

    Me: “I don’t think we can change the price at the store level. And I’m not sure that’s a valid reason to change a price.”

    Customer: “It doesn’t have to be much. Even just a penny would be fine. Could you ask your manager?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think we can change the price on a national brand item. We have other kinds of syrup that are just as good if the unit price of that brand bothers you.”

    Customer: “No! I want that brand! I only eat that brand! And I want you to lower the price of that brand!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “I’m never shopping at this devilish place again! Everyone who works here is going to go straight to Hell for associating with the devil!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”


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