Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

| New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

Cookies Are The Devil

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Top

(In the sandwich shop where I work, we have a daily special for a different six-inch sub each day. If you order two specials, the total, including tax, will always come out to $6.66. On this day, two elderly ladies come in wearing nun’s wimples and veils.)

Nun #1: “Hello, dear. I’d like a six-inch [special], please.”

Nun #2: “Oh, that sounds good! I’ll have the same.”

(I make the sandwiches and go to the register to ring them up.)

Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66.”

Nun #1: “Well, I’d say that’s the Lord’s way of telling us to get dessert! We’ll take two cookies, please!”

See this story as a comic!

Fifty Shades Of (Christian) Grey

| OR, USA | Books & Reading, Religion, Rude & Risque

(I work at an accessories store in a mall. There is a Christian store that specializes in books and movies right across from our store, and next to the bathrooms. After directing a customer to the bathrooms, she comes rushing back in with her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.)

Customer: “Is that the only bookstore in the mall?”

Me: “Oh, that’s not actually a bookstore. That’s a Christian store.”

Customer: “Oh. That explains why the cashier got so angry when I asked where to find Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Paying Caesar’s Things Back To Caesar

| IL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

Customer: “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”

Me: “Nope. Your total is $7.00.”

Customer: “I don’t pay non-believers.”

Me: “Well, it’s a good thing you’re paying [Delivery Company], then.”

Customer: “Do you know any commandments, you Satan worshipper?”

Me: “Thou Shalt Not Steal. Seven dollars, please.”

(Then he threw a $10 on the counter and left. Three bucks for Satan!)

Like Sleeping On Heavenly Clouds

| USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Religion

(We sell mattresses. A customer does a lap around the store and stops at our most expensive beds.)

Customer: “THIS BED IS ONLY $89?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, if you qualify for the four-year financing it’s $89 a month.”

Customer: “Well, there’s no point in me financing a bed, Jesus is coming next year. Have a nice day”

Me: “…”

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