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  • Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

    | East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

    (An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

    Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

    Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

    Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

    (I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

    Me: “I can’t see it.”

    Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”

    Probably Also Watched The Simple Life

    | Sanford, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Religion

    Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] calling with [Company] regarding savings on the electric bill. May I please speak with [Customer]?”

    Customer: “WE’RE AMISH! WE DON’T HAVE ELECTRICITY!”

    Me: “But you have a phone?”

    Customer: “We sometimes have phones at the end of our properties for emergencies! You’d know that if you watched Amish Mafia!”

    Me: “So, you also have a TV?”

    (*click*)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Religion

    (I’m not a thin woman, but never considered myself to be HUGE. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and it makes it very hard to get my weight to go down, so I’m kind of touchy about it.)

    Customer #1: “Aw, when are you due?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Were you just talking to me?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, when is your baby due?”

    Me: *quietly, so as not to embarrass either of us any further* “I’m not pregnant, miss; I’m just a little large.”

    Customer #1: *quite loudly* “What! That’s not a little large. You’re huge! You look like you could pop at any second!”

    Me: “Um, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not pregnant, and I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your comments to yourself.”

    Customer #1: “It is my duty by God to inform you that you are living an unhealthy lifestyle and gluttony will lead you straight to Hell. What do you weigh? 500lbs!?”

    Me: *now on the verge of tears, as EVERY customer is looking at us* “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. First off, no, I weigh 220lbs. I lead a very active lifestyle. I have a disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Please, you’re embarrassing me.”

    (Another customer, who has witnessed the conversation, approaches.)

    Customer #2: “Miss, you need to stop. I can clearly see your upsetting her.”

    Customer #1: “NO! She must learn the dangers of her ways. It’s not too late for her to repent and change. You get down on your knees right now and beg God for forgiveness and you’ll be saved.”

    (At this, she actually pulls a bible from her bag and starts waving it at me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please just buy your items. You’re upsetting me. Please.”

    Customer #2: “Ma’am, I’m going to call the police if you do not stop this.”

    (I am now crying as the customer is reading furiously from one random passage of the bible almost screaming. She notices I have a bowl of candy on the table next to the register. She picks it up and flings it.)

    Customer #1: “You see! It’s these that cause that! Gluttony! You’ll burn if you don’t repent!”

    Me: “Those are for children! I don’t even like suckers!”

    Customer #2: *tries to take her by the arm and lead her from the store she smacks him in the head with her bible*

    Manager: *comes running from in the back* “What in the world is going on here!?”

    Customer #1: “You allow sinful, gluttonous employees here! She must repent or she’ll burn in Hell! It is my duty to make her see the evil of her ways!”

    (The customer now goes to the door and opens it and starts screaming this outside at everyone who walks by.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve called the police. You need to leave right now. You’ve upset my employee and injured a customer.”

    Customer #1: “He’s assisting the devil! He’ll burn with the harlot! You’ll all burn!”

    (She rants like this for 10 more minutes before the police arrive and arrest her. The man she hit with the bible had to have dental work done on his front teeth. She was charged with disturbing the peace, harassment, resisting arrest, and assault. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a $2,000 fine. My boss gave me a week off with pay.)

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

    | Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

    (A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

    Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

    Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

    (I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

    Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Religion

    Customer: *at my closed register* “Can you check me out?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m closing this register. The next register is open, and my associate can check you out.”

    Customer: *sighs* “Her line is too long. I need you to do it. I’m in a hurry.”

    Me: “I can’t. As soon as I opened this register to count the till, it’s officially closed. I can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to go to the next register.”

    Customer: *glares at me and leaves her full buggy in front of me* “I’m going to pray against you tonight.”

    Coworker: “I bet she will, too.”

    Related:
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
    Lack of Register Does Not Register

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