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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Religion

    Customer: *at my closed register* “Can you check me out?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m closing this register. The next register is open, and my associate can check you out.”

    Customer: *sighs* “Her line is too long. I need you to do it. I’m in a hurry.”

    Me: “I can’t. As soon as I opened this register to count the till, it’s officially closed. I can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to go to the next register.”

    Customer: *glares at me and leaves her full buggy in front of me* “I’m going to pray against you tonight.”

    Coworker: “I bet she will, too.”

    Related:
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
    Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
    Lack of Register Does Not Register

    Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

    , | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

    Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

    (The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

    Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

    Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

    Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

    Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

    Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

    (I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

    Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Great!”

    (She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

    Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

    Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

    (She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

    Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

    Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

    Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

    Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

    Me: “I swear.”

    Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

    Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

    Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

    Me: “Hang on a minute.”

    (My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

    Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

    Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

    (I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)

    You Say Potato, I Say Catholic

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

    (My grandmother and I are serving food at an outdoor event. I have cooked mashed potatoes.)

    Customer: “These potatoes are fantastic! I’ve had three servings.”

    Me: “Well, thank you!”

    Customer: “You must be from the First Baptist Church, because all of the best cooks are Baptist, you know.”

    Me: “Actually, I’m not.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess you must be a Methodist then. Methodist women always did have a way with potatoes.”

    Me: “No, I’m actually a Catholic.”

    Customer: “Well, where the h*** did you come from?”

    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3

    | Ocean, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

    (It’s Friday the 13th. I’m ringing up some college-age students.)

    Me: “Your total is $6.66.”

    Customer: “Oh, no! And it’s Friday the 13th!”

    Me: “No, no. It’s okay! You’re getting rid of the six sixty-six, not accepting it. It’d only be bad luck if you were getting it as change.”

    Customer: *looking very relieved* “Okay… That sounds right. But what about you?”

    Me: “I’ll be okay. It sounds strange, but 13 is actually a lucky number for me.”

    (I ring her up and move on to her friend. By sheer chance, the total is $13.34, and I immediately see where this is going when she hands me a $20 bill.)

    Me: “Uh. Your change is… $6.66.”

    (She looked very uncomfortable as she took her change, and her friends teased her all the way out the door.)

    Related:
    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    Piercing Judgments, Part 4

    | PA, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Religion

    (I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

    Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

    Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

    Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

    Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments, Part 3
    Piercing Judgments, Part 2
    Piercing Judgments

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