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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    A Time For Giving (A Piece Of Your Mind)

    | Newark, DE, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’ve gone to pick up a few things. I am in the line for the register when I hear someone yelling. Since I’m a curious person and the store isn’t very busy, I leave with my cart to see what’s going on. I soon see a woman in her 30s lecturing a boy in his teens who works in the store.)

    Customer: “People like you disgust me! Not everyone is Christian! You shouldn’t tell people to celebrate something from a faith they don’t believe in! F*** you and your ‘Merry Christmas!’ religious erasure!”

    (The employee is clearly overwhelmed. He’s been very sweet in helping me in the past so, against my better judgment, I step in.)

    Me: “Even if you aren’t Christian, it’s still nice to hear that someone wants you to have a good holiday. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man, not erasure. If you even bothered to talk to this guy for more than a few seconds you’d know how nice he is. He just wants you to have a good holiday season, lady.”

    Customer: “You, too! You’re just as rude and disgusting as this brat. I bet you and him go around thumping gays with bibles to turn them straight! I’m going to report the both of you!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m agnostic. That means I accept the fact that we don’t know for sure if there is a God or not. As such, I should just be the best person I can be because it’s the right thing to do. I love Christmas time. It’s full of love for everyone and it’s a time for family and friends to all come together. It’s full of people doing good for each other. If you don’t like people wishing you a good holiday just because of the religion that celebrates the holiday, you’re just as bigoted as the people who really do want erasure. Also, I’m bi. So I wouldn’t go around ‘thumping’ anyone for their sexuality.”

    (The customer sputters for a minute before storming off with her cart. The employee looks at me after a few seconds to calm himself down.)

    Employee: “I only said it because she said she was planning Christmas dinner…”

    The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m standing behind a nice old lady who is checking out at the grocery store.)

    Lady: “You look like you both need a smile. This is for you!”

    (She hands the cashier a few pieces of Christmas themed candy, and gives one to me.)

    Cashier: “Oh, thank you! Happy Holidays!”

    Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I know you want to.”

    Cashier: “Actually, I’m Jewish—”

    Lady: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Oh, yes! Feliz Navidad to you!”

    (The cashier and I both just smiled, because regardless of what you call it, she still had the best seasonal spirit!)

    Tis The Season To Be Deaf To Reason

    | ME, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Oh, just fine. Thanks. Last minute preparations. Are you ready for Christmas?”

    Me: “I suppose you can say that.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas. So I’m always ready for it, in a way.”

    Customer: “What?! Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?”

    Me: “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *a little slower* “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: *louder* “What?”

    Me: “I’m an atheist.”

    Customer: *near shouting* “I’m just not understanding!”

    Me: “I don’t believe that any god exists.”

    Customer: “WHAT? I JUST AM NOT UNDERSTANDING!”

    Me: “…I celebrate Christmas.”

    Customer: *in normal volume* “Well, of course, dear. Everyone does! Merry Christmas and God bless!”

    (She gives me a jaunty wave and heads out if the store. My bagger turns to me.)

    Bagger: “Am I in crazy-town?”

    Me: “Apparently we’re in Bethlehem.”

    Needs To Take A Sabbath-ical From Stupidity

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Religion

    (I am the manager of the cashiers. A customer is talking to one of my cashiers.)

    Customer: “You know you are going to Hell? Right?”

    Coworker: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You are going because you are working on a Sunday.”

    Coworker: “Well, I guess I will see you there since you are shopping.”

    (The customer’s face goes red but he says nothing else. He pays and leaves. The coworker comes up to me.)

    Coworker: “Oh, gosh. I am not going to get fired am I?”

    Me: “Not by my standards you aren’t!”

    Store Of The D***ed, Part 2

    | Monticello, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work at a grocery/retail store that has a somewhat relaxed dress code for the cashiers. It is quite hot both inside and outside the store. Many of my female coworkers are wearing less clothing than usual. A customer comes to my check lane and unloads her groceries.)

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. SOMEBODY around here knows how to dress in a way that pleases the Lord!”

    (Right away, I know this is going to be unpleasant. I’m a transgender man with no religious belief.)

    Customer: “All of these god-d*** heathens dress like streetwalkers! I’m so glad I found someone uncontaminated to handle my food!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say ‘uncontaminated?’”

    Customer: “Why, yes, dearie. Those worthless w****s you have to work with are contaminated by the devil! It’s too bad you have spend so much time around them, but I understand times are tough.”

    Me: “Actually, I enjoy working here. I have excellent pay, flexible hours, and the opportunity to be part of a great team. I’ve made friends with several of my coworkers, and we regularly spend time together outside of work.”

    Customer: “Oh, dearie, you know you shouldn’t yoke yourself to an unbeliever! But I suppose it’s hard to lead some to Christ if you don’t know them very well.”

    (At this point, I’m finished scanning and bagging her groceries. She pays with her card and turns to me.)

    Customer: “You know, young lady. I just feel so bad for you. You’re stuck in this awful, godless place, and I just—”

    (The customer rummages in her purse and pulls out two $5 bills.)

    Customer: “Take these are use them to do The Lord’s work!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t accept your money in good conscience. I happen to be one of those godless heathens you were upset about. Furthermore, I’m sorry to say that you have made a crucial flaw in your perception of me. I am not, as you said, a ‘young lady.’ I am a 21-year-old transgender man.”

    (The customer begins to shout various racial, homophobic, and trans-phobic slurs. My manager rushes over to find out what’s going on.)

    Customer: “THIS GODLESS C*** CONTAMINATED MY FOOD!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, you need stop verbally abusing the staff and leave the premises. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to call the police.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU!? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, and quite frankly I don’t care. You’re shouting some of the vilest insults in the English language at one of my best cashiers. Get your s*** and leave. NOW!”

    (The customer flees, insulting both of us the whole time. The next customer in line has watched the situation unfold.)

    Next Customer: *to my manager* “Excuse me. Would it be alright if I gave you both a gift card? You deserve something nice after all that.”

    Me: “You don’t need to—”

    Manager: “Uh, okay. Sure.”

    Next Customer: “Here. Just [item] and two $25 gift cards for [coffee shop].”

    (When the friendly customer gives me the gift card, his number is written on the back. We’ve been dating for almost two years!)

    Related:
    Store Of The D***ed


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