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    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Piercing Judgments, Part 4

    | PA, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Religion

    (I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

    Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

    Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

    Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

    Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments, Part 3
    Piercing Judgments, Part 2
    Piercing Judgments

    Driving Down Route 66(6)

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Religion, Top

    (It is late evening, a few days before Halloween. My coworker at the register has been dealing with an irate woman for several minutes. She is ranting about the cheap decorations hanging on our door. As a result a line is forming behind her.)

    Customer: “I’ll never shop here again! Everything in here is cursed! You’ll be attracting the demon spawns of the devil!”

    (I come up to the second register to deal with the line forming behind the customer. Most of the other customers shift over to me, but one younger woman is watching the first customer rant. Suddenly, the younger woman turns and runs out of the store. And a second later, she comes back in wearing the most amazing, and yet disgusting, full-head mask I’ve ever seen. It looks like a rotting deer, complete with antlers, shaggy fur, and wide dead white eyes. The younger woman walks up to the ranting customer and clears her throat loudly.)

    Younger Woman: *to my coworker* “Dude, I need $20 on pump four for my ‘Hell-mobile.’” *turns to the first customer* “And what’s your problem with us demons, anyway? Even the devil needs a place to buy gas and beer.”

    (The first customer turns and stares at the younger woman for a long moment. Then the first customer actually screams and runs out of the store, leaving all of her items behind.)

    Younger Woman: “I hope that lady wasn’t buying gas. I don’t think she’s coming back.”

    Doesn’t Seem To Get The Concept(ion)

    | Denison, TX, USA | Health & Body, Religion

    (I do the marketing and advertising for an OB/GYN. I overhear an interesting exchange.)

    Doctor: “You’re pregnant and you have an STD. You must have had some kind of sex to get pregnant.”

    Patient: “Well, Mary didn’t!”

    Not Acting Their Sunday Best

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

    (I work in a shop that exclusively sells Christian books, music, and church supplies. The store is, strangely, open on Sundays.)

    Me: “All set? Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “I did. Thank you.”

    (She places a large stack of items on the counter. I’m halfway through ringing them up when she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re open on Sundays.”

    Me: “The owner believes it’s convenient for customers who can’t make it during the week, so it’s no hassle.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be open! This is the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “We do have reduced hours on Sundays so the employees can attend church. I came straight to work from a service at [local church] this morning.”

    Customer: “No! You should be closed today in honor of the Lord’s day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if we were closed today, how would you get these things you’re buying right now?”

    (The customer blinks in surprise and stares at her purchases. Then she scowls and thrusts a credit card at me.)

    Customer: “It doesn’t matter! You should be closed on Sundays! Now do your job and ring me up!”

    Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

    Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

    Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

    Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

    Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

    Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

    Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

    Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

    (She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)


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