October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| CO, USA | Money, Religion, Technology

(I graduated with a PhD in mathematics from a major state university, but being from a fairly tight-knit family, when a storm takes out power to my grandfather’s family-owned business many family members go to help keep things running.)

Customer: “I’m so glad you’re open without power. I can finally get some shopping done.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess a power outage has its upsides, frees up some time.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I had a vision from God, and he told me that math and money were created by the devil…”

Me: “Umm… and the storm changes that how?”

Customer: “Well, without power, you don’t have those machines to add for you, so we can go back to good old fashioned charity, like God intended.”

Cousin: “You do realize we can do the math in our head, right? I mean this guy has a PhD in mathematics. I think he can add some prices up. Also, we have a backup generator; the registers should be up now.”

(The customer couldn’t get out of the store fast enough, brandishing a cross at the cash registers. Apparently, anyone who can do some mental addition is a servant of the devil; that or he wanted free stuff, your pick.)

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

The Girl Who Played With Hellfire

| Stockholm, Sweden | Books & Reading, Religion, Rude & Risque

(I’m the customer in this story. I’m a tourist in Stockholm looking for a book for my boyfriend at the time, who is learning Swedish. I don’t speak a word of it. I see a bookstore and just wander in.)

Me: “Hi there. I’m looking for a Swedish book that has something to do with crime. Could you help me with that?”

Clerk: *looks at me dumbfounded* “Uhm. What was that?”

Me: “You know. Something thrilling and exciting ?”

Clerk: “You do realise this is a Catholic book store and we only carry books on religion, right?”

Religion Really Gets My Goat

| Dallas, TX, USA | Religion, Theme Of The Month

(After running out of diapers in the middle of the night, my husband runs out to the nearest grocery store. There are a few people in line when this happens.)

Lady Behind In Line: “So where are you from?”

Husband: “Oh, I’m from New Orleans.”

Lady Behind In Line: “No, where are you really from? You know; your people?”

Husband: “I was born in India, but immigrated to the US as an infant.

Lady Behind In Line: “India? How wonderful. My church has helped save a lot of the heathens there! Have you been saved by the blood of our savior, Jesus Christ? If you’re not saved, you and your family will burn in Hell for all time.”

(The entire line goes silent, shocked at the gall of this woman. My husband decides to have some fun with her.)

Husband: “No, I come from a long line of Satanists. We’re having a sacrificial ceremony nearby if you’d like to attend? Wait, do you know where I can buy a couple of goats?”

(The woman turns white, drops her items on the floor, and runs out.)

Cashier: “D***! I was about to tell her I belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!”

Had A Mourn-day Thursday

| Europe | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a call centre for a large company. This weekend was our weekend off because of the Easter celebration. A colleague, located somewhere else in Europe, is backing our line while we are away.)

Customer: “Hello, I am looking for [My Name]. I have talked to him before and need help from him.”

Coworker: “Well, [My Name] has his day off because of Easter.”

Customer: “GOD D*** IT! Why should he celebrate Easter? I need help with my product NOW!”

Coworker: *pulls up the file* “Well, I can see here that you were supposed to call him on Thursday to let him know about the issue.”

Customer: “Thursday? No, I couldn’t. I took the day off because of Easter.”

Probably Praying For Nicer Customers

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I just clocked out for lunch, and am on my way out of the building when this exchange occurs.)

Customer: “Hi. I think you may want to call security. There’s a really weird guy outside towards the other side of the building.”

Me: “I’ll notify someone right away.” *I notify security after looking, but hear nothing of what happened*

(It turned out one of my coworkers was outside praying.)

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