Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,807 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Religion

    There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

    Complaining For The Devil Of It

    | Australia | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Religion

    (I am serving a customer who is buying shoes. She has come in with her daughter, no older than six. She is really nice to me until she spots a necklace I am wearing that my mother bought me for good luck. It is a moonstone with a pentagram above it, traditionally a pagan symbol for good luck before it was associated with Satanism.)

    Customer: “ARE YOU A SATANIST?!”

    Me: “… pardon??”

    Customer: “You’re wearing a satanic symbol around your neck! You’re a Satanist! How can you wear that and be hired here?”

    (The customers daughter looks very shocked and looks at me worryingly, mostly startled by what her mother had just said.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not. This necklace was a gift from my mother. The symbol was originally pagan as a symbol of good luck and other nice things. It later got associated with Satanism, although it really isn’t anything to do with Satanism at all. I am no Satanist. I did not mean to startle you.”

    Customer’s Daughter: *smiles and looks relieved* “It’s very pretty.”

    Customer: *huffs and glares at me* “Well, it traumatises children! You should never wear that filth to work!”

    (The customer stormed out of the store, fuming, dragging her confused daughter along with her. I chose to keep wearing the necklace every day as she was the only customer who had a problem with it.)

    Don’t (Mi)Stress Over It

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Religion, Rude & Risque

    (Most of the clients are 18-year-old girls getting their navels done or university students wanting unusual cartilage piercings. It is a really friendly place with a good reputation. I get a call:)

    Caller: “Hello? I was wondering if your studio has specific facilities?”

    Me: “I’d be happy to help, sir. What kind of facilities—”

    Caller: *cuts me off* “DON’T CALL ME SIR.” *in deadly serious whisper* “Call me mistress.”

    Me: “Ah… yes, mistress?”

    Caller: “That’s better. Is the studio sound-proof?”

    Me: “No, mistress. I can’t say that it is.”

    Caller: “I see. Does it have restraints?”

    (The man in question goes on to ask an increasingly creepy list of demands. It turns out he’s a professional dominatrix and apparently people pay money to live with him and be his ‘slaves.’ Needless to say we weren’t what he was looking for, so I suggested he contact a few establishments located in the ‘sex industry’ areas of the city, who might be able to help.)

    Me: “… anyway, mistress, to sum up for you, we just don’t do that sort of thing here. I hope [Other Business Names] will be able to assist you.”

    Caller: *absolutely delighted* “Oh, you have been so helpful! Please, call me by my Christian name: Mistress Alexi!”

    Boss: *after telling her all about it* “I’m pretty open-minded, but no way in h*** is there anything Christian about that!”

    Wants The Number Of The Devil

    | Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Religion

    Customer: *leering* “I need $15 worth of [Cell Company] minutes and your phone number, sweetness.”

    Me: *pretending I didn’t hear the last part* “$15 of [Cell Company] minutes. Okay.”

    Customer: *smirking* “And your phone number.”

    Me: *curtly* “Not happening. I have a boyfriend.” *prints the slip* “It’s $15.50.”

    Customer: *pays in exact change* “So, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

    Me: *deadpan* “What are you talking about? I clawed my way up from Hell.”

    (He quickly left and hasn’t asked for my number since.)

    Not In Anyone’s Good Books

    | Bridgeport, CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Religion

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I have a constitutional right to have my late fee waived!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Please be advised that your payment didn’t post until five days after the due date, so the late fee is valid.”

    Caller: “Sir, do you realize that ‘The Good Book’ says you must forgive those of their transgressions?”

    Me: “Yes, I do. Please be advised that same book also says, ‘You reap what you sow.’ Sorry, but the late fee is valid.”

    Caller: “I suppose you’re going to tell me that the credit card agreement prevents you from doing that and that its my responsibility to have read it?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Caller: “You know what… GO F*** YOURSELF!”

    Religious Hatred Works Both Ways

    | Saint Paul, MN, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Religion

    (A customer I’ve never seen before comes in alone; he’s young and looks fairly normal. It’s slow, so it’s pretty much just me running the cash register and the bar by myself, with my manager doing paperwork in the back. There are a couple of other customers who’ve already been served.)

    Customer: “Can I have two large lattes and a medium blended mocha with peppermint?”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I ring him up and begin making his drinks. I’m almost finished when he notices that I’m wearing a small silver cross necklace.)

    Customer: “You’re not a Christian, are you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m non-denominational, but yes, I’m a Christian.”

    Customer: “You can’t be serious. You know that’s all just a fairytale, right?”

    Me: “Here you are, sir.”

    Customer: “I can’t drink this. If you’re a Christian, you’ve got centuries of blood all over your hands, and I’m not touching anything you’ve touched. I want a full refund, you w****. How can you hypocrites live with yourselves?”

    (Not wanting to continue the conversation since I didn’t trust myself to remain calm, I begin a return.)

    Customer: “I mean, just look at Westboro Baptist Church! That’s more than enough evidence for me that you all deserve to be wiped off the map!”

    (He goes on like this all the while I’m processing his return. None of the other customers in the shop say anything, although I see one or two looking at us. I finally finish his transaction and hand him his money and receipt and manage to look him in the eye)

    Me: “Have a blessed day, sir.”

    (He cursed violently and knocked the two lattes off the counter. One of them landed on his pants, scalding and causing him to curse again. He grabbed his money and stormed out, still yelling about how religious people are a “disgrace to humanity” and should be “exterminated.” After I cleaned up the remnants of the lattes, I went on break and drank his blended mocha.)

    Page 4/29First...23456...Last